XWL Redemption 6/12/2011 - 6/19/2011

Before Redemption goes live, we see Kane with a devilish smirk on his face.



The Devil's Favorite Demon begins to speak.


[Kane]
Well, well, well. This Sunday....... the smoke will be cleared. Now, when that smoke is finally cleared, the true monster will stand tall. A.K.A. ME! Fn thinks that punching thumbtacks makes him a monster. A real monster, makes other people feel the thumbtacks! A real monster makes other people feel pain! A real monster loves to see the poor victim in pain! Fn, that poor victim is YOU! You pose as a threat to my well being. Well, there are two flaws with that! The first one is that you simply only pose as a threat! You're nothing than an over grown cretin! Secondly, I don't CARE for my well being. The only things I CARE about is proving that I am the real monster of XWL, and making sure you are tortured at Unforgiven!


[Kane]
Now, last week, you got off on a LUCKY break! I would have destroyed you in the parking lot! At Unforgiven, much like you said yourself, there will be no security! It will just be you on the opposing end of my WRATH! Last week, Fn, you saw firsthand the amount of pain I can take! You chokeslammed me through a table, and I SAT....RIGHT.....BACK....UP! You WISH can take punishment like that Fn! It doesn't matter if you can or not, because you will go through much....much....worse punishment at Unforgiven! Now, I don't know if you saw this beauty next to me, but this is my trusty old hook.

Kane grabs the hook and looks at it, chuckling. He lets go and begins to speak again.

[Kane]
This is the hook that will choke the life out of you this Sunday! I will drag out the beating for as long as I can! And I will lend you a hand in putting those thumbtacks right into your body! Kane chuckles. In fact, Fn, I will bring EVERYTHING to our match! Hooks, thumbtacks, barbwire, and my personal favorite, FIRE! Fn, I warned you that when you play with fire, you get burnt! And at Unforgiven, I will burn your soulless body to a corpse!


[Kane]
Now, before we go to hell at Unforgiven, I have an interesting challenge for tonight. IT'S SHOWTIME! Kane chuckles. The "Icon" Sting! Now, Sting, you like to act like some dark figure. Now, you....... are a real POSER! You're nothing more than an old man in black and white face paint! A lot of people say that it's a dream for you to face my brother, The Undertaker. BAD NEWS. I HATE dreams! So tonight, I will smash that dream into tiny little pieces, and crush them with my bare hands! I will destroy you, making sure that dream will NEVER come true! Then, in the process, I will show Fn exactly what pain and agony is going to come to his way this Sunday! It's two for the price of one! Wonderful, right? WRONG I hate the word wonderful! It's too....... happy. Kane chuckles.


[Kane]
Fn.....Sting...... you both are just in the wrong place, at the wrong time. I will prove that I am the true monster of XWL! Sting just happened to be booked against me, but I'll take pleasure in torturing him. I hate people in general! I'll torture anybody that dares to look at me! Kane smirks. Fn, tonight, I want you to watch my match closely. I want you to take notes.... if you can read and write. I want you to study what is coming your way this Sunday. Ignore our battles from the PAST, this is the PRESENT! And the present is that I'm the real monster, and the future? The future is a world where I prove I'm the real monster, and it's a world without the man....

FN!

Kane chuckles as Redemption goes live to our commentators.

Joey Styles: Wow Kane really is a sick son of a bitch! Pardon my language but is he really going to use a hook in his match with Mr. Fn? That's borderline murderous

JR: Just listening to each word Kane says sends chills down my spine.

King: Talk about a bunch of wusses, Kane is a monster sure but Mr. Fn, now thats a monster! He ate raw meat in front of this ring before, and is the sole reason that X-treme even became apart of XWL. Now thats a true monster, he ruined pure wrestling for hardcore crap! Thats a real monster, not a psychopathic imbecile like Kane.

Joey Styles: Hes a monster for bringing a style of wrestling into this company?

King: You call that wrestling? Sure it may be entertaining to the casual person, but someone who truly loves wrestling cannot stand to see it tainted by weapons, blood and any other unorthodox additions.

JR: Anyways we want to welcome you to another exciting edition of XWL Redemption! We've got a stacked line up as always and tonight we've got a main-event that is sure to be explosive! Bitter rivals Jeff Hardy and CM Punk team up tonight for the first time ever here in XWL and they will take on Alberto Del Rio and Chris Jericho who are also far from friends!

Joey Styles: Not only will it be under tornado style rules, but to prepare Alberto and Jericho for the elimination fatal four way at Unforgiven, this tag match will be under elimination rules!

JR: And we've also got our newly debuted, undefeated superstars clashing one on one right here tonight! The bizarre Sean O'Haire will take on the controversial Muhammad Hassan! One undefeated streak will end going into Unforgiven, who will suffer their first loss in XWL?

King: Then Michelle McCool will look to avenge her loss in a triple threat match two weeks ago when she takes on the woman that beat her, Lita! Not only will Lita be in this match but she will be accompanied by Michelle's least favorite person in the world, Melina! It should be interesting to see how this match turns out and if Melina can keep her fake hands off Michelle!

Joey Styles: Why do you and Michelle keep saying Melina is fake? I didn't understand it last week and I still don't. Shes a genuinely nice person that's all she is, there aren't any ulterior motives like Michelle suggests.

King: That's just what she wants you to think! But for people like Michelle McCool and myself included, we see through her act and see her for what she truly is, a bitch!

JR: Well then again you called Maryse an incredible high flyer last week so I don't we can trust your perspective on anything.

King: Oh sure superstars like Evan Bourne, AJ Styles, and Sin Cara are always overrated as high fliers, yet Maryse can't be? Just sexist is what it is!

Joey Styles: ...I really don't know how to respond to that, honestly.

JR: Moving on we've got the recently returned Kurt Angle taking on the man who has been on quite the hot streak for the past few weeks. Yes the Olympic gold medalist will take on the Fortunate Son, Ted Dibiase Jr! Can Kurt Angle get back on the horse after a month long absence, or will Ted's winning ways continue?

Joey Styles: Speaking of Ted that man just doesn't know when to quit does he? He has showed seemingly no fear regarding the Undertaker. Played mind games of his own, and challenged him to a match at Unforgiven. And after the Undertaker proved why he is the original master of mind games he finally accepted Dibiase's challenge and those two will finally collide at Unforgiven and I can't wait!

King: I can

Joey Styles: Anyways the self proclaimed, "Mean Monopoly Player" is actually backstage right now and hes ...Well We'll let you see for yourself.

We switch to the backstage camera and Ted Dibiase is shown sitting at a table with Ron Simmons, and Yoshi Tatsu! Upon further examination we notice a Monopoly game board set up with all the pieces and it appears their in the middle of a game!

Ted Dibiase: Alright Yosh it's your turn, but before you roll those dice you've got a question to ask yourself... Do you feel lucky, huh, do ya? You're on Pennsylvania Avenue and if you roll a three or a five, you will land on my property and the result won't be pretty...Boardwalk, Parkplace, hotels on both...It's a suicide mission, so do you want to quit now, or will you take the risk and roll those dice!

Yoshi looks at him with a very serious expression then snatches the dice out of his hand and throws them down on the board...They roll for about five seconds, and the result is snake eyes!

Ted Dibiase: Wow you rolled doubles and landed on chance...

He slowly grabs the card off the board turns it around, our cameras switch positions and it's a Get out of jail free card! He gets excited but then realizes he has to roll again!

Ted Dibiase: That will definetely come in handy if you get a little snockered on the saki and make the mistake millions make every day....Including myself, and drive!

Ted turns around staring into the camera intently then...

Ted Dibiase: Remember kids, don't drink and drive, Ron Simmons pities the fool that drinks and drives!

Yoshi looks at his funny then utters out in a very slow tone manner

Yoshi Tatsu Thats Mr. T.

Ted's jaw drops and then shakes his head

Ted Dibiase: You SPEAK ENGLISH?!

Yoshi Tatsu Yes...

Ted Dibiase: So I read this Japanese for dummies book earlier today for nothing?

Yoshi Tatsu Yes...

Ted Dibiase: Well that sucks! I could have been doing something else like training for my match later....If I lose I'm so blaming you.

Yoshi Tatsu Why? You would be the loser, not me!

Ted Dibiase: Yeah well... Your hair looks funny!

Yoshi Tatsu So does yours!

Ted Dibiase: Hey it's been a busy day okay? This is the first time I have had to really just sit down and relax I don't wanna argue with you Yoshi.

Yoshi Tatsu Then don't diss my hair style!

Ted Dibiase: Then don't diss mine!

Yoshi Tatsu You started it!

Ted Dibiase: Nu-Uh!

Yoshi Tatsu Yah-Huh!

Ted Dibiase: Nu-Uh!

Yoshi Tatsu Nu-Uh!

Ted Dibiase: Yah-Huh! Wait.....

Yoshi Tatsu Ha!

Ted Dibiase: Dammit Yoshi that's not funny!

Yoshi calms his laughter while Ted glares at him and then rolls the dice and Ted inches forward hoping for a three ....BUT IT'S A FOUR! Yoshi bypasses Boardwalk and goes right to GO and collects 200 dollars! Ted frowns then sighs as Yoshi gets his fake 200$ in monopoly money and taunts Ted excited for evading his property.

Ted Dibiase: I'll get you next time Yoshi, you can't run forever!

Ron then shakes his head remaining silent the entire time Yoshi and Ted were bickering.

Ted Dibiase: You're up next Ron!

He grabs the dice then shakes them around in his hand and throws them on the board and they roll around for a second or two until it's revealed as a ten! Ted's face lights up and he lets out a loud "OH YEAH!!!!" Ron stares for a second as he lands on Boardwalk, he then looks over at a relieved it's not him Yoshi, and an overly ecstatic Ted

Ron Simmons: DAMN!

They stare back at him for a moment confused, he gets up out of his seat, looks at his last bit of money he had, then tips the table over from the bottom causing the board, the pieces and all of the cards to go flying all over the locker room! Ted's face turns into disappointed one and Ron walks out of the room, we then cut back our view to Ted who lowers his head while Yoshi stares at him waiting for his reaction....

Ted Dibiase: DAMN!

We zoom in on Ted's saddened face before fading away to a commercial break!

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Comment if you can, I think it's awesome but then again I'm supposed to since I typed it

Normal Divas Match


Daffney vs Melina

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By the way thanks Ash Rene and Ed for commenting on both promos really appreciate any and all feedback also glad to see I haven't lost my edge on randomly funny promos

I told Rene this last night jokingly " Only I could pull off a promo where I'm playing Monopoly with Yoshi Tatsu and Ron Simmons

Okay maybe The Rock could too...

*We come back from a commercial break to see JR, King, and Joey Styles at the announce desk.*

[[JR:]] Ladies and gents of the XWL Universe, welcome back to Redemption! And look at some of the stars in the audience we have tonight!

*The camera view pans out, and gives those at home a shot of Pauly D, Snooki, J-Woww, and Ronnie of Jersey Shore, waving and fist pumping in the front row.*

[[Joey:]] Wow, some of the cast of Jersey Shore is joining us tonight in Jersey City!

*Then suddenly, the team is interrupted by the theme of The Miz!*

[[King:]] ALRIGHT! Now it’s time for a REAL STAR! The Miz!

*The Miz gets on the ramp, mic in hand.*

[[The Miz:]] Really? Really? REALLY!? REALLYYYYYY!? This is what, the third week in a row that I haven’t been booked? All you chumpstains putting these shows together need to realize the true major draw of Redemption, if not the whole XWL! ME!

*The crowd begins to boo and chant “MIZ IS AWFUL!”*

[[The Miz:]] I mean, ever since management decided to bump MizTV off the card a couple weeks ago, I’ve been sitting at home, waiting to get a call that I’ve been put into a match. And for the past what, two weeks? Three weeks? I’ve sat at home with my girlfriend watching Redemption from my HOUSE!

*The crowd cheers this, as they hate The Miz with a passion. The Miz is now in the ring, and he stares down at the cast of Jersey Shore*

[[The Miz:]] I mean, look at these tanned up gelled up retards in the front row! Even they get more camera time on this show then I do!

*The crowd boos, and the camera shows the cast of Jersey Shore, Pauly D even going so far as to flipping off the Miz*

[[The Miz:]] Yeah “bro”, that’ll up how loved you are around here. Throw a vulgar hand gesture up at the most must-see superstar in XWL history. That, that really sets the tone for morally right standards.

*Miz slides out of the ring, getting in Pauly D’s face. A loud “Pauly D!” chant starts up.*

[[The Miz:]] You see the difference between you and me isn’t just this little barrier separating me from tearing you limb from limb and sending your carcass back to MTV studios. It’s the fact that I used to be just like you, a young kid on MTV trying to make a name for himself. Well, I went on to bigger and better things, while you go and hang out with this woman of the night next to you in a bar.

*Miz is obviously taking a shot at Snooki. Snooki responds with a grin before slapping the taste out of Miz’s mouth.*

[[The Miz:]] Ho, ho, ho. Some girl’s got a little fire down in her. You think you’re a little badass for coming on MY SHOW and having the nerve to slap me. Hahaha, security. Politely show Miss Polizzi out the door!

*Two rather overweight security guards promptly arrive and grab Snooki by the arms, even lifting her as they carry her out of camera shot up the stairs, Snooki attempting to squirm to break free. The crowd boos as they chant “SNOOKI!”*

[[The Miz:]] Now that that’s out of the way, I’ve got bigger and better things to do than throw guidos out of the building.

*Miz slides back into the ring as the crowd boos and chants “Jersey Shore!”

[[The Miz:]] You see, since I haven’t been booked in so long, I’m afraid I might get a bit rusty in the ring. So, effective immediately, I’m issuing an open challenge for this Sunday at Unforgiven. Anyone who’s willing to take the ass kicking of a life time, then I suggest you come find me as quick as possible. And hope this Sunday, that I don’t destroy you and end your career. BECAUSE I’M THE MIZ! AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII’M….AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWESOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME!”

*The Miz’s theme hits again as he slides out of the ring towards the cast of Jersey Shore. Miz fakes a punch towards Ronnie then laughs and backs away towards the ramp*

*The camera goes to the backstage area where Vickie Guerrero is shown backstage texting on a phone, Edge approaches her as the fans boo when he walks onto the camera.*



Edge- Hey Vickie! How ya' doing?

Vickie Guerrero- I'm good Edge, how are you?

Edge- Could be better, who are ya' texting there? All of your friends?! Haha, oh man.

Vickie Guerrero- ...Excuse me? What's that supposed to mean?

Edge- Err, nothing. Look Vickie, I know you're the GM around here so I'd like to request a match for Unforgiven.

Vickie Guerrero- For the last time Edge, you have to work your way back up to the top to get a World Title Match! We've gone through this so many times and I'm sick and tired of hearing it!



Edge- ..It's not that, well, this time anyway. I want a match with John Morrison at Unforgiven, he's been a thorn in my side for far too long and I think it's time to get rid of him so I can move on-

Vickie Guerrero- Wait, the same John Morrison who you ran away from last week?



Edge- NO! I did the right thing by escaping before a brutal assault by Jeff Hardy and John Morrison! They came after me for no good reason, I was minding my own business in the ring accepting my slammy and those two thugs decided to come down and attempt to attack me. You're lucky I didn't call the cops because I should've!

Vickie Guerrero- Whatever you say Edge..

Edge- Look Vickie, can I have the match or what?! John Morrison vs Edge at Unforgiven, yes or no.

Vickie Guerrero- Give me one good reason why I should make that match when you were too scared to face off with him last week, Edge.

Edge- Because you're the General Manager that reeks of awesomeness! Unlike Mick Foley who reeks of year old garbage, and you're looking the reel in the ratings so the best way to do that is with the Rated R Superstar! So do it ya' big cougar.

Vickie Guerrero- Hmm, I guess there has been a lot of bad blood between each other so it makes sense. Alright Edge, you've got it. John Morrison vs Edge at Unforgiven!

Edge- Thanks a lot Vickie, I appreciate it.



*Edge goes to shake Vickies hand but she just looks at him, Edge shrugs and goes to walk off.*

Vickie Guerrero- Wait Edge, I'm not finished.

Edge- Huh?



Vickie Guerrero- After your actions last week of running away like the coward that you are, It's going to be John Morrison vs Edge in a fifteen foot high steel cage!!

*The fans pop as Edge looks shocked.*

Vickie Guerrero- Well Edge, I guess you have to go prepare for your match later tonight. Best of luck.

Edge- You call that a match? I call it a warm up for Unforgiven, you making this match a cage match is the biggest mistake of your life! Because after I'm done beating him through all four corners of the ring there'll be no more John Morrison in XWL, and that's a PROMISE!

*Edge storms off the scene as Vickie laughs and goes back to texting.*

We see Josh Matthews backstage at the Redemption interview area, with Sean O'Haire.

{Matthews}
Hello everyone, tonight I'm interviewing Sean O'Haire. Now, Mr. O'Haire, last week, we found out that the Masked Man who you hired was in fact, Sin Cara. What are you thoughts on Sin Cara and his plot?

{O'Haire}
My thoughts? What do you think my thoughts are, Josh? Who the hell does he think he is? I paid him good money to provide services for me, so guess what? He goes ahead and turns on me. Now Josh, I don't like rules and laws, but I certainly don't like backstabbers. If I knew he was Sin Cara in the first place, I wouldn't have hired him - I'd have beat his sorry ass all over the good old U S of A! I don't like fakes, either. Sin Cara is delusional, he's insane, and I gotta put him right. I've got to make him see that while you should not listen to these silly "moral" preachers, you shouldn't be a backstabber or an imitator. I'm pretty sure Cara was a priest back in Mexico...well, I bet you taught a lot of inaccurate things in your time then, Sin Cara. So backstabbing, imitating, and lieing is the right thing to do? Well, I guess you're like all the other priests then...well, this is different. Because you're not just a priest. You're a preist who's affected me and my career, and I'm not going to stand for that.

{Matthews}
Well, tonight, you have Muhammad Hassan to deal with. What do you think of him and his chances?

{O'Haire}
You know, I gotta praise Hassan. He definitely stands up for what he believes in. But while I don't like the government or the laws of this country, I certainly am proud of where I came from...the United States of America. I guess he feels pretty badly treated because he's an Arab-American. Well, Hassan, you think you can come out here and treat America like it hates you? We don't hate you, Muhammad, we just...don't respect you. You know why? Because you don't respect America. If you want to live in this country, you have to respect it. And you have no respect for America at all. You're lucky that the US allow you to stay here...I know a lot of other countries have immigration controls, and maybe you wouldn't be allowed through. So, Hassan, you stand up for what you believe in, and I praise you dearly for that, but...what you believe in is wrong. Wrong in every single way. Tonight, I'm not just fighting for myself and my beliefs, but I'm fighting for America...you disrespected America, now America is going to give you it back. And guess who's representing America tonight? None other than Sean O'Haire...

{Matthews}
Thank you for your time Sean--

Sean O'Haire pulls the mic off of Josh Matthews and starts talking.

{O'Haire}
Hey! Sin Cara! I know you're watching, so listen closely! At Unforgiven...it's all over. Sean O'Haire finally teaches you a lesson which you should have learned a long time ago. You'll regret ever stepping in my way, Sin Cara...because at Unforgiven, I WILL destroy you. Got it?

Sean O'Haire drops the mic and walks off as Redemption cuts to commercial.

Will review more later but...

*Cameras fade to the back where Joey Styles is seen standing by with "The Charismatic Enigma", Jeff Hardy! Joey looks away from the Jeff and towards Jeff. He raises the mic and begins to speak.**



[Joey Styles]
"Jeff, tonight you are teaming with the man you are going one on one with at Unforgiven in a TLC Match. That man being, CM Punk. What are your thoughts on Punk?"



[Jeff Hardy]
"My thoughts on CM Punk? The man who cost me my match against Edge last week? My thoughts about CM Punk are quite simple, quite simple indeed. But first, let me read this poem that might help clear things up on my thoughts about CM Punk..."

"If you're lost for words.....Become found for actions.... If you're lost in life...Become found with reactions.... Stop searching for who you are...and remember where it started.... You are a flight in motion...Soaring since departed... Words are a puzzle that will never be completed.....? Yours truly.... Jeff Hardy Ours truly....this life..."

"Now I bet your wondering, 'how does that poem involve CM Punk?' Well, lets take a look at it. 'Words are a puzzle that will never be completed.....' That is basically saying that the words Punk speak, the words Punk say. Are all to worthless because Punk try's to spread his words around like a disease but the fact Punk won't understand it, not everyone is going to catch that disease. I being one of them. No matter what Punk does or says, I will not get infected by his straightedge words."



"Now onto the words, 'If you're lost for words.....Become found for actions....' That also relates to CM Punk because he has become lost in his straightedge persona. All he thinks about is trying to save the public from becoming lost in a life of drugs and alcohol. He even took it to the step, of shaving people's hair off just to join his Straightedge cult. Punk, you've honestly taken this Straightedge persona too far. You need to look into the mirror and see what you have become, because this has been going on for too long and I'm going to put a stop to it at Unforgiven."



[Joey Styles]
"Now tonight Jeff, you have to team with CM Punk? Do you trust Punk in your corner tonight?



[Jeff Hardy]
"Do I trust Punk? That will be revealed later tonight by the actions that will be shown in the match."

*Jeff walks off the screen as he says his final words and Redemption fades to commercial break.*

**Redemption continues as a theme plays through the crowd and gets everyone excited**




**The crowd go wild as they know there will be some amazing high-flying action as Sin Cara leaps into the ring, then another familiar theme plays**



**Crowd are once again on their feet in excite for the high flying, Xtreme action they will see next!


The two lock up and Cara put Sabin in a arm lock and pushes him down into an armbar for a quick submission at the start of the match, The Ref asks Sabin if he'll quit but its too early to give up and Sabin starts pushing back up and hits elbows on Cara, He runs to the ropes and hits Cara with a huge drop kick! Into the cover!

1...Kick-Out!

Cara quickly gets up and whips Sabin to the ropes and ducks down, Then leaps over and springboards for a jumping back elbow, then he runs to the ropes and hits a lion-sault! Into a cover!

1.......2......Kick-out!


Cara tries to pick Sabin up but gets punched in the chest the thrown into the corner and Sabin runs at him and hits a huge clothesline then Sabin climbs to the top rope and hits a missile Drop kick! COVER!

1.....2......Kick-out!

Now Sabin picks Cara up and throws him right over the top rope and crashing to the concrete floor, Sabin follows outside and the two exchange shots outside and Cara starts to get the better of them, and drop kicks Sabin on the floor

Cara jumps back in the ring and looks at Sabin, He runs to the ropes and leaps over for AN AMAZING CORKSCREW CROSSBODY!

Both men are down and the referee starts to count,

1........
2........
3........
4........
5........
6.......
Both men start to raise
7.........
8.........
AND THEY BOTH ROLL BACK IN!

Both men are exhausted and they raise up and Sabin whips Cara to the corner and splashes him! Cara is still on his feet! Sabin goes up top for another cross body but Sin Cara catches him on his Shoulders! Wait a minute! SIN CARA USED THE WIDOW MAKER! Taking a shot at O'Haire!

1.........2...........3!!!






(P.s I did'nt really use the Widow Maker, Its just for feud purposes)

We come back from a commercial break where a replay of Sin Cara's victory follows and then we're taken backstage to Ted Dibiase's locker room where hes shown still picking up the pieces of the mess that occurred with his monopoly buddies.



He walks over to the last bit of trash and places it in his trash bag in his hand then sighs and plops from right on a chair with the trash bag dropping to the floor. Just then a knock is heard at the door and it slowly opens and Christy Hemme is shown walking in

Christy Hemme: Excuse me Ted?

Ted Dibiase: Well if it isn't XWL's red haired fire cracka Christy Hemme! What can I do ya for?

She blushes then quickly tries to focus

Christy Hemme: Well I know you've got a match earlier, and you also will face The Undertaker this Sunday at Unforgiven so I wanted to get a moment of your time and get thoughts on things.

Ted Dibiase: Yeah I can totally do that, pardon the mess, like I said months ago when you interviewed me at my house, I'm a messy boy!

He playfully laughs then chucks the trash bag into a bin.

Christy Hemme: You're also apparently a "Mean Monopoly Player"

Ted Dibiase: Self proclaimed Mean Monopoly Player, but yes, yes I am!

Christy Hemme: We of course saw earlier that you had a few friends over for a game.

Ted Dibiase: If you can call me DESTROYING them at Monopoly a game, then yes it was a game.

He grins.

Christy Hemme: A lot of people are bringing up how you're possibly just to care free to accomplish anything here, thoughts on that?

Ted Dibiase: Who in the hell is saying that? Because I have to go buy them flowers and chocolates because they've helped me get to where I am! Haters are people that I just love because when you prove them wrong the look on their face is priceless. People said I would always be in my father's shadow, that I couldn't get close to any title, that I could never be a great wrestler, that my matches were boring, that I'm boring, that Maryse was with me for my money, well that last one probably isn't the best example. But you know their negativity drives me to aspire to prove them wrong at any cost to my well being. Sure I may not be any kind of champion at this point in time, but you can bet all the money in the world that I will do ANYTHING if given the chance to get some gold around this waist of mine.

Christy Hemme: Wow that's a very passionate response, can't say I expected that.

Ted Dibiase: I try to be as unpredictable as possible as you may have been able to tell lately. For instance, if Jack Swagger, Zack Ryder, The Miz or even Bryan Danielson or whatever he's calling himself this week were interrupted by The Undertaker...Do you think they would stand their ground like I did? People expected me to walk away, I had already been beaten days prior to that by Wade Barrett in possibly my most important match yet, but like I said I want to prove people wrong! Their expectations I want to exceed, and I'm not taking anything away from the names I listed because at first glance there's not many you would expect that would stand up to The Undertaker! But I don't want to be most superstars, I want to be this superstar!

Christy Hemme: You certainly have raised a lot of eye brows since your pursuit of The Undertaker that's for sure.

Ted Dibiase: Which is a victory in itself.

Christy Hemme: If we can switch topics for one minute you have a match tonight against the reformed and returning Kurt Angle. Can I get your thoughts on him and his new attitude as well as your thoughts on facing him.

Ted Dibiase: When first thinking about Kurt Angle you would always think of an overly cocky man, who went off one accomplishment and basically road that into the ground. But much like myself, hes changed! I'm not trying to compare myself to him because I think we will admit he's been in this game just a little bit longer than I have. Much like him I am a proud American and so him standing up for the great US of A last week was really great to see. No doubt am I in for a really tough match but I also have to be careful. This guy is like the master of the ankle lock and no doubt in my mind that is his not so secret weapon. I plan to bring it all to the table tonight and I hope he does as well. He's without a doubt a future legend in this business based on his accomplishments outside of this company and early accomplishments in XWL too. I have never had to pleasure of stepping in the ring with him before, but I have seen a lot of his matches so I know what is to be expected, but then again did any of us expect to see Kurt return last week with such a new personality? So perhaps everything I'm supposed to expect won't happen at all, maybe he has a new submission hold, maybe he has a new power move, it's all a completely new challenge for me but when is it never?

Christy Hemme: Very true indeed, Kurt should be a tough opponent but you shouldn't count yourself out stranger things have happened

Ted Dibiase: Oh I never count myself out! If you go into a game expecting to lose, then what's the point in even starting it? You're just wasting everyone's time if you've ever got yourself beaten before that bell even rings!

Christy Hemme: Now if we can go back to The Undertaker, obviously you do expect to beat him, but what happens should you lose?

Ted Dibiase: Awww why you gotta do me like that Christy? I'm all pumped and then you have to bring up the possibility of me "losing." Yes it's possible, yes it's expected, but did anyone think I would even be in the same ring as him to begin with? That's right, they didn't, they never expected it so as far as I'm concerned, keep assuming I'm going to lose, because this "phenom" is in for a fight and I promise you that!


The camera zooms in on Christy who is shown nodding but Just then the lights quickly shut off and Christy screams in fear as they remain off for a few seconds. But then they come back on and Ted is shown grinning from ear to ear at the light switch.

Christy stares at him relieved but then angry he would pull such a stunt

Christy Hemme: Asshole!

She storms out of the room ending this interview as Ted frowns

Ted Dibiase: Oh come on Christy it was just a joke!

Ted Dibiase: Christy!

Ted Dibiase: Does this mean we're not going for coffee after the show anymore? It was only a joke!

But then the lights shut off again and we only see pitch black

Ted Dibiase: Oh very funny Christy, can you cut lights back on.

Ted Dibiase: Christy...

Ted Dibiase: Christy! Cut the lights back on!

Ted Dibiase: I get it, I shouldn't have done that, I'm sorry, now can you please put the lights back on I've gotta get ready for that match. Christy... This isn't funny!

Just then they come back on and Christy is shown at the door near the switch

Christy Hemme: And neither was that!

Ted Dibiase: I was only trying to have a little bit of fun, did you really think that was The Undertaker?

Christy Hemme: I guess not...

Ted Dibiase: So how about that coffee?

But then the lights go black again!

Christy Hemme: Dammit Ted this isn't funny! I know you're going to be all cheesy and be like " I like my coffee black" or something right?

Ted Dibiase: Are you serious? That wasn't me!

Christy Hemme: Well it wasn't me!

Ted Dibiase: ...It wasn't..?

Christy Hemme: ... No? It wasn't you....?

Ted Dibiase: Okay I've got an idea, let's get out of here!

We hear them bump into a few objects along the way due to their vision being blinded but eventually hear the door slam and then we fade away.

We return to redemption after seeing a replay of what transpired last week involving Jericho/Del Rio which leads to another clip of the “Main Event”

Jr: That had to be one of the most bizarre chain of events that I have ever seen. Started with Jericho talking to one of the ladies back there, and by the end of the night he was in the middle of nowhere driving around with a morphed car that use to be conducted by Alberto Del Rio. If Jericho ever had a 15 weirdest moment’s video then this one should be quite up there if I do say so myself.

Style: I didn’t expect the night to go that way either, but then again you can’t really predict Jericho’s mind. Remember that time when he had the whole cereal crew invading him that night that he was the GM of Breakdown?

King: I remember well, and Jericho was still an immature brat back then to. Listen, I’ll be honest I respect the guy for his abilities, but man that doesn’t mean that I have to like him. People Like Wade Barrett, Evan Bourne.. They have the credentials and show how a champion should act. You can give any fan here the world title belt and it will probably be in much better hands compared if it was with Chris Jericho.

Jr: One thing we can all agree on is that Del Rio probably had one of the worst weeks in XWL history. First his car got stolen..

Style: Yeah, and he was fuming angry bats out of his ears, but according to him he was going to take it out on Jericho during the submission match but gee wilikers who would have thought it? Jericho didn’t show up leaving Del Rio who looked like he was going to pull apart the whole ring.

King: He’s a coward. He knows Del Rio bests him when it comes to submission.

Style: Maybe he knows a hold or two more than Jericho, but I guess a pink sports car with various comedic vinyls is worth the nagging that he’ll be exposed to tonight by Vickie Guerrero for leaving when he was booked for the main event. Speaking of which is Jericho even in the building right now?

Jr: Not yet, but earlier today I heard he was on his way.

King; See what I mean? He’s the world champion, and he’s running late? He even has a match later tonight. Seriously, Vickie should consider stripping the man of the title until he graduates with a P.H D on ARRIVING ON TIME!

Style: Maybe you should register for a class on saying sane comments.

We go backstage, well actually no we don’t go backstage. We go beyond backstage toward the streets of Jersey City. A lot of fans are near the parking lot cage which separates the civilians from the superstar’s mobiles, and various other security staff standing there. Why did they leave there seats when the show was already well under way you ask? Well Chris Jericho is about to arrive, and half the arena is standing there waiting for his arrival. A big honk is heard followed by the sound of some squeaking tire tracks, and the world champion arrives to the building driving the same car that he stole a week ago. Not the same that he stole, but yeah. That manly shin dig is now Jericho’s. The fans get out of the way because they want to live and not become smudges on the headlights. Jericho gets into the parking lot with the cage closing behind him. All the various fans scream, or try to do something to get Chris Jericho’s attention while he opens the door to get of his car. He stands up to face the crowd, and he lets out a big..

Jericho: Y2-JERICHO IS IN THE BUILDING!

The cheer could be heard all around the block very clearly. He then goes to take out some of his luggage, and Todd comes forward to get some worlds from Jericho.

Jericho: Oh hey Todd. If you’re here then either Vickie is using you as her errand boy to get my ass in the last place that I want to be in, which is her office, or maybe you want to actually interview me. I also wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to get a better look at the Jericho Mobile that is epic enough to go from one state to the next. City to city, country to country. Listening to my theme song 24 hours GAD DANG! This is a dream vehicle come to life!

The crowd continues to cheer, and Jericho gets a pen out from his bag followed by going forward to sign some autographs for the Jerichohlics.

Todd: Jericho, there has been a controversy going around here over the past couple of weeks, and I got to say this new rivalry between you and Del Rio has… *Todd glares at the Jericho-Mobile* taken a strange 180 turn. What are your thoughts on what transpired last week?

Jericho: What’s your name again? Rene Morales? Quite a fancy one right there. There you go, remember Jerichoholic, strong forever. Todd, what happened last week is just another added chapter in the epic life of Chris Jericho. You know, I find a car in the middle of a hallway, drive off to the sunset with my trusty partner the world heavyweight championship, and then go on to party into the unknown. Meanwhile I was hearing around from some buds in the redemption locker room that it was awfully a bit more quiet than usual, as far as Alberto Del Rio goes anyway. He’s always going around barking orders, making some people feel like complete crap just because they don’t have the shiny luxuries that he has. Thanks to your neighborhood Chris Jericho you had less of Del Rio’s bickering, and to add icing on the already delicious cake it looks like he suffered a lot right after I drove off.

Todd: That’s right he got quite the beating for the former world Champion, Sheamus.

Jericho: Here you go.. Amy, nice hair by the way. Yes Todd, Del Rio took the weekly disaster trophy like a champ last week. Stolen goods by me, and my old time rival Sheamus came to beat the living zombie hell out of him. Lucky for me I wasn’t in the arena or maybe I would have been the one on the receiving end of a Brogue kick. Pfff, who am I kidding? I’ve practically been playing tug a war with Sheamus for almost half a year now. I could probably smell him from a mile away but hey lucky for me he hates Del Rio just like any other normal person. At least Sheamus could do something right, since he’s been a dreadful mess as of late. Don’t look at me because I obviously don’t have anything to do with it.. Well.. Maybe.. Made him Tap out on the biggest event of the year.. Beat him in a cage…. Then in a.. Alright, I lied I had a lot to do with it, but who’s complaining right? Not like anyone cares about the Paletic Warrior.

Crowd cheers, while Jericho continues to sign some autographs.

Todd: For someone who is going to defend his world champion in a week, you seem awfully calm. Confidence perhaps?




Jericho: Listen my attitude toward the title match isn’t going to change anything that’s going to come. Whether I’m as pissed as a man who interviews the Rock, or excited as Sheamus is when he gets his trillionth championship match doesn’t matter. I’m not too worried, but yeah I know it’s going to be my hardest title defense to date. However it’s not like the fatal four way during the draft show because I actually have to get beat to lose that match. That at least calms me down, but hell it will be on tough fight. Biggest one yet so far, and last I checked there really isn’t many outcomes where the champion actually makes it out of a fatal four way as champ. Hell, Evan Bourne won the world title from me during a fatal four way a year ago. Sheamus won his world title in a fatal four way. There’s elimination rules this time, so I’m guessing this will be one.. very long match, but it comes with the Job. Expect the unexpected, and I have these 3 different personalities in one match again. Something is going to implode, and only one person will be left standing when the dust settles. 3 guys eliminated, one man left standing. Will it be the Pie eating, interviewer abuser, the great one, The Rock? Could be. I’m guessing out of all 3 of my opponent’s he’ll be the hardest one to beat simply because this is his first world title match what.. a Decade? Long overdue but he damn well has it! I’m actually getting scared right now. Well, you never know maybe the interviewers will revolt during that match and Jump him revealing their master plan to bring down the Rock!

Todd: That seems highly….

Jericho: See, I got you thinking there. Just kidding, glad to face the Rock again. It might be Sheamus, or maybe he’ll lose like he always does. I wouldn’t be surprised if he got eliminated in 2 minutes. That would be funny. Jerichoholics. How do you like the sound of that? Sheamus losing in under two minutes! Yay or Nay!

Crowd cheers Yay over and over again.

Jericho: Or maybe it will be… actually give me a second. I actually have something here to share. A short booklet with various Alberto Del Rio parodies.

Jericho goes to the driver seat, and he takes out a big sack.

Jericho: Here, Christmas came 6 months early… Undisputed copies for everyone!!!!!

Jericho throws various copies of his book title Undisputed over the cage wall. He then eventually stops when all that left is that Del Rio booklet.

Jericho: Alright listen to this one.. My name.. is Alberto Del Rio…. And my face is so ugly that I don’t even have to use birth controls… Alright maybe that one’s not good.. My name is Alberto Del Rio… And I’m the definition of fancy horse manure. My name is Alberto Del Rio.. And I’m more of a fail than Miami during the play offs. Seriously, who blows of a 2-1 lead? Tsk.. tsk… My name is Alberto Del Rio, and I’m as feeble as Betty white… My name is Alberto Del Rio.. And Ricardo is my only friend. He has to get paid out of something, right? My name is Alberto Del Rio.. And I’m actually stupid enough to leave my car in the middle of a hallway… Not to mention he had the keys on the ignition. Who actually does that kind of stuff.

Todd remains quiet.

Jericho: Alright, I’ll work on my comedy in the next week! Sheesh!

Jericho looks back to see Ron Simmons who looks somewhat pissed walking along side Yoshi who is all jolly.

Jericho: What the.. looks I missed on some fun around here.

Todd: You know something that might not be fun? Teaming up with Alberto Del Rio later tonight. The same guy that you where parodying just now.

Jericho: Oh really? Poor guy can’t catch a break. Maybe I’ll act like a normal partner and give the guy a chance to breath some fresh air. It’s the least I can do since I’m going to kick his ass at Unforgiven. Just like I will the Rock, and Sheamus’s behinds straight back to the drawing board and when it’s all said and done I will still be the XWL World champion… Which means I can continue to come late and piss of the boss without her doing a damn thing about it! Abuse of my power? Oh you haven’t seen nothing yet. If I was in charge I would name this show.. after me.. XWL Jericho! Jericho’s Redemption… Jericho’s Breakdown… Adding Jericho to anything makes it automatically epic. Jericho-Mobile. The Jericho Parade.. Hangover.. featuring Jericho.. the Dark Jericho.. The Passion of Jericho.. Mice and Jericho..I can go on and on all day!!!

Crowd cheers.

Jericho: These have been words from your cuddly, neighborhood pal, Chris freaking JERICHO!



Jericho leaves, but then face palms. He then goes back to his pink sports car.

Jericho: How can I forget to about my beauty? See this? This is my Ms. Jericho in the flesh, or in the metal whatever way you want to put it. Then there’s my world championship. Remember, keep the nation strong Jerichoholics.

Jericho goes into the arena now.

Moments after the Jericho interview, the cameras fade to black and cut to a pissed of Alberto Del Rio sitting in his locker room. He looks to Rodriguez and begins to speak but then places his face into his hands out of frustration. After several moments of frustration, he finishes gathering himself and finally speaks right into the camera with a somewhat psychotic gaze....

Alberto Del Rio:
Chris, you can degrade me, you can insult my heritage but you did the one thing that sets me off more than anything else in this world! You touched my car! You ruined my beautiful machine! Eres un cabrón canadiense! Voy a matarte! Alberto Del Río es el próximo campeón! There was no reason for you to do such a thing. But now you crossed a line you can't go back on.....if I have to assault every one of your fans, if I have to snap everyone of your family's arms, and if I have to PERMANENTLY take you out, to gain the satisfaction I seek, the satisfaction in the form of vengeance I will do so! But the cherry on top of allll that payback, will be when I walk out with your World Championship, when I make you submit, and you say to yourself the pain isn't worth my life's ambition! Make it stop! I WILL MAKE YOU PLEAD FOR MERCY WITH BLOOD DRIPPING DOWN YOUR FACE! YOU WILL BEG ALBERTO DEL RIO TO STOP!......but salvation won't come for you Jericho only more suffering. When I'm done with you, you will never be seen here in XWL again!

Del Rio settles down, and resumes his blank expression, just staring into the camera....

And Sheamus don't think I haven't forgot about your cheap shot on me. Payback will be coming, and it will be a bitch. None of you have seen just how twisted I can be....

Del Rio still maintains the blanks stare into the camera but a grin comes across his face, as he begins to chuckle quietly until the camera fades to black....

*Following a commercial break, we return live to XWL Redemption where Muhammad Hassan is shown standing in the center of the ring, with a mic in hand. As usual, the USA chants echo around the arena as the crowd unites to try and incite Hassan.*



*Hassan remains calm and collected and raises his mic upwards.*



[Muhammad Hassan] Last week... I was almost physically assaulted by Kurt Angle for no reason. No reason whatsoever. I came out here and I had a different opinion than him, and just like any true American in the same situation, he flew off the handle and tried to superimpose his opinions on me. He tried to attack me!

*The crowd starts a chant of "Bullshit" as they saw with their very eyes that it was Hassan who tried to land the first blow on Angle last week.*



[Muhammad Hassan] Kurt Angle is just like all of you! He's nothing more than a simple-minded, judgmental racist who thinks that just because he's American-born he's better than everybody else. But you see, he's not. Tell me, was Albert Einstein an American? Is Stephen Hawking an American? Alexander Graham Bell? How about Nikola Tesla? No! And I'm sure most of you overweight dumb Americans sat in your seats stuffing your faces right now don't even know who those men are because your education system stinks. They're geniuses! Not everything American is better. Who invented the automobile? The computer? Television? None of those men were American! Does America have the best soccer team? The best healthcare system? The best government? No!

[Jerry "The King" Lawler] Wow just listen to this crowd. Their hatred for this man is deafening! And who can blame them?

[Jim Ross] You're right King, I can barely hear myself think. I'm starting to agree with you that Muhammad Hassan is delusional.

[Joey Styles] Just because he has a different opinion doesn't mean he's delusional. Let's just hear the man out.



[Muhammad Hassan] Kurt Angle is not the best wrestler in the world despite many media outlets' and wrestling colleagues' claims! Why is he the best in the world? Because he's American? Because he won a gold medal 15 years ago? 15 years ago! What has Kurt Angle done recently? Oh that's right, he got injured...

[Jim Ross] That's just despicable speaking so casually about an injury that way! A career-threatening injury no less!



[Muhammad Hassan] And now he's come back and expects a United States Title shot gift-wrapped and handed to him for no reason! What right does he have? What about me, Muhammad Hassan? I am undefeated and the hottest prospect in XWL today! I am a man who has seen more injustice in my life so far than the vast majority of people in this arena will ever see in their entire lifetime! But nobody cares about that and nobody gives me any kind of credit!

*Hassan takes a few moments to soak up the heat from the crowd before raising his mic upwards again.*



[Muhammad Hassan] So Kurt, at Unforgiven, I aim to make an example of the great American Hero. Maybe then, after I destroy you America will take note of Muhammad Hassan. Maybe then, I will be given the credit I rightfully deserve. By dominating and humiliating the great Olympic Gold Medalist Kurt Angle, I will have the whole of America's eyes on me... for the right reasons.

*The crowd roars in disapproval and the never ending boos and jeers continue.*



[Muhammad Hassan] But tonight, I go one-on-one with Sean O'Haire. A man who goes around encouraging people to take shortcuts and to give in to their temptations. But you see, I think Sean O'Haire is mentally ill or just plain stupid. He doesn't have to go around encouraging people to do those things because they already do! Every citizen in this god-forsaken country takes shortcuts every chance they get! Whether it be stabbing your best friend in the back for your own personal gain, sleeping with the boss to get a promotion, or selfishly betraying your own family... every last person in every last state of America takes shortcuts and has no moral code! I have seen it with my own eyes!



[Muhammad Hassan] And as for temptations? I only have to look around and I can see all you morbidly obese creatures feasting on chocolate, popcorn, pizza and beer! And I wouldn't be surprised if many of you are under the influence of narcotics right now. So Sean O'Haire, I pity you for being proud of America. And I also pity you for being so stupid.



[Muhammad Hassan] After tonight, I will make you see the light! The light that is Muhammad Hassan's greatness.



*Hassan poses as he finishes his last sentence. His music begins to play as he lowers his mic.*



[Jerry "The King" Lawler] Muhammad Hassan is a disgusting human being!

[Joey Styles] Even I would have to agree King, Hassan definitely took it a little too far tonight by personally insulting the members of the XWL Universe.

[Jim Ross] One can only hope Hassan changes his tune, but either way Muhammad Hassan will face Sean O'Haire later on tonight!



*Hassan is shown staring intently into the sea of hatred before him as the screen once again fades to black for another commercial break.*