XWL.com Exclusive: Hermie's Hotseat featuring The Motor City Machine Guns!!

The scene opens with a man sitting on one of two couches in the room, and the camera zooms up to him so that the audience can get a better look.

Hermie
Hey there, ladies and gentleman, this Hermie coming out of nowhere to present to you a very special edition of: Hermie’s Hotseat. Now tonight, I have the honor of having one of the greatest XWL tag teams ever on the show. I think you know who I’m talking about, isn’t it obvious? For just about a year these two very dedicated men have been tearing it up, and while they’ve been proving why they’re a force to be reckoned with as a duo for months now, it’s what they’ve been able to do recently as singles competitors that has really shown just how incredible these two men are. Alex Shelley is nearing that 100-day mark as United States Champion, while Chris Sabin is only one win away from becoming Intercontinental Champion and they’re both the reigning Ersatz Tag Team Champions, well at least one of them is. Folks it’s my absolute pleasure to introduce to you: The Motor City Machine Guns!

The Guns make their way onto the set in casual clothing and Shelley imitates the sound of cheering fans while Sabin graciously accepts and thanks them for their adoration. They each shake Hermie's hand and Shelley tries to snag the seat closest to him, but Sabin beats him to it and Shelley sadly scoots over to the spot next to him.



Hermie
Guys, let me just thank you for joining me here today.

Alex Shelley
No, Mr. Interviewer Man, thank you for having us. Last time I was interviewed it was on MizTV, and though it’s not saying much, I already love it here. But I have to say there was a bit of false advertising.

Hermie
How so?

Alex Shelley
Well, these seats aren’t hot at all. In fact, they’re barely at room temperature.

Hermie
Hey, you see that button over there? Press it.

Alex Shelley
Oh my…

Hermie
Now, we’ll get to Miz in a second, but first, how are you two doing? You guys look so at peace.

{Chris Sabin}
Wouldn't you be too if you were the Number One Contender for John Morrison's Intercontinental Championship? I mean, sure, Miz stole my half of the Ersatz Tag Team Championships out from under me, but in the end, I will get it back, that's a promise.

Hermie
That’s great to hear. All right, guys, let’s not beat around the bush….

Alex Shelley
That’s never a good idea, kids love play around bushes especially if they’re of the mulberry variety.

{Chris Sabin}
Someone needs to tell Stone Cold E.T that.

Hermie
Aw man, I love your guys’ sense of humor. Is that what it takes to survive together as long as you have, a couple of jokes here and there to lighten the mood?

Alex Shelley
That’s part of the equation, yeah. You also need a big budget to support any addictions to pancakes that may arise…

{Chris Sabin}
Or any addictions to hair care products. Sometimes you got to make the tough decisions if you want to survive, like that one time I went a month without putting syrup on my pancakes, that's hard times.



Alex Shelley
How could you eat them without syrup? That’s just sick! But back to the question, yeah, it definitely helps to have someone around who gets you, you know? Someone who you can feed off of and bounce wacky ideas off of one minute and play videogames with the next. I don’t even see him as a tag team partner anymore, he’s more like a best friend or a brother and that’s really the key to our longevity. Some of these guys, they just randomly meet in a bar or something and think they can be a tag team and more often than not it doesn’t work out in the long run because when things get a little rough one of them splits. I mean, there was that time Chris cheated to beat me at tic-tac-toe…

{Chris Sabin}
Or like how Alex disconnected my controller when I was beating him on Halo...

Alex Shelley
He gave me Pepsi when I asked for CM Punk…

{Chris Sabin}
He confused me for AJ Styles...

Alex Shelley
He ruined the Christmas card picture by giving me rabbit ears….

{Chris Sabin}
You know I can't resist doing that.

Alex Shelley
Chris and I have had our fair share of issues, and we’re still going strong. It’s all about building the chemistry, it’s the glue that’s keeps you together.

Hermie
And you two have had a few rough patches. Chris, you were taken out by The Kings of Wrestling when Generation-Next was formed in your absence, then you were attacked by The Miz and missed some action. What was going through your mind while you were leaping over those three huge hurdles?



{Chris Sabin}
It's a bit funny that you bring up Generation-Next, it's been about a year now since they formed. I was taken out backstage by the Kings and AJ was kind enough to take my place after he barely managed to keep his career intact by defeating Joey Ryan just a few minutes beforehand. In the end, they fell short, but it's the thought that counts. Neither of us is on the best of terms with AJ right now, since he still believes we screwed him on the Monster's Bash Preshow.

Hermie
And of course there’s no love lost between neither you nor Miz.

{Chris Sabin}
Miz attacked me because he thought I was weak and he thought that I would just stay down after he left me lying in that ring, but he couldn't have been more wrong. There's only so much you could do when you're sitting on your couch and watching either Breakdown or Redemption, so when the doctor told me I was clear to compete, I hopped on a plane and flew to where ever the show was that week. Alex doesn't like to talk about what happened at Eye For An Eye last year, so I'm not gonna continue that story. The only thing I had on my mind when I returned to attack Miz after he took me out for nearly a month, was revenge and I got it.

Hermie
I know you’d love nothing more than to talk about anything other than The Miz, but he has been a thorn in your sides for months now, going as far as to take one of your Ersatz Team Championships, not to mention that he holds victories over the both of you. There’s something I want to know from you, Alex, do you think it’s possible to defeat Miz, especially since you’ll be putting your United States Championship on the line against him at Supremacy?

Alex Shelley
Of course I think I can beat, Miz. You head into a title match doubting yourself and you’ll leave that title match without your title. I could be stepping into the ring against Godzilla…

{Chris Sabin}
And he has. It could even be that guy that tricked me into buying a stack of pancakes, then made me pay extra for the syrup a few weeks back.

Alex Shelley
Him too, or even the Brooklyn Brawler, but at the end of the day I’m going to step into the ring thinking that I have a shot to win that match and more often than not, I do. That loss to Miz is a blemish on my record, but I’m not going to take anything away from him, he caught me with the Skull Crushing Finale, he got the three count and that was that. I’m sure his shoulder was sore from patting himself on the back all night.

{Chris Sabin}
Among other things.

Alex Shelley
Supremacy is a whole new ballgame, a completely different chapter in our saga and I’m going to use that night to right some wrongs. It’s going to take a lot more than The Miz to take this championship away from me. I’ve worked too hard for too long to have it end because of someone like him.



Hermie
Is your run over as Ersatz Tag Team Champions over now that Miz has one of your belts? How does that even work? And what was it like for you after you came up short in that Ultimate X match, Chris?

{Chris Sabin}
You say “Came up short,” I say, “Had an off night.” If I had known that my half of the Ersatz Tag Team Championships was going to be on the line, I would have tried harder, I would have pushed myself to my limit, but I had no way of knowing. Now he's walking around acting like he's partners with Alex, and it makes me sick. I underestimated Miz after our last encounter at Unforgiven, which I won. I took him lightly and it cost me. Alex took him lightly, and it cost him as well. It's a safe bet that neither of us will make that same mistake again.

Hermie
He even came up with a name for the new team: The Miz City Machine Guns.

Alex Shelley
It still burns my ears hearing that. I’ve never heard anything that horrible in my life. I mean, who would want to live in a place called Miz City?

{Chris Sabin}
Other than Miz? Probably people who bet against The Guns.

Alex Shelley
Or a down on his luck lawyer who couldn’t keep his job after losing his voice.

{Chris Sabin}
The guy who drowned my pancakes in that “imported” syrup when we went to that shady Pancake House a few days ago.

Alex Shelley
Or a chef who lost his hands in a knife juggling tragedy.

{Chris Sabin}
Those two chicks that attacked you at the movie theater and cut a piece of your hair only to sell it on the internet.

Alex Shelley
Basically, the kind of people who live in Miz City are the kind you don’t really want to be around and the poor saps that willingly team-up with that guy? Well getting blacklisted and becoming a laughing stock are the least of their worries. Just look at what happened, to R-Truth, remember him? The guy was doing pretty well for himself, then he aligned with The Miz and he was never heard from again. I could only imagine what’ll happen to Aries, they’re off to a great start as it is.



{Chris Sabin}
We weren't off to the greatest start either, but at least we've teamed in the past, so there wasn't a battle of egos between us like there's going to be between them.

Alex Shelley
I wonder what they’re calling themselves, The Awesomest Men that Ever Lived?

{Chris Sabin}
The MizcenAries?

Alex Shelley
Yeah, that sounds more like it.

Hermie
It does sound like there is a new team on the block for The Guns to challenge. Assuming you do get your belt back, Chris, how do you feel about the way the division is looking after just about a year of you and Alex putting your blood, sweat and tears into it?

{Chris Sabin}
I don't want to sound like a bitter Gun, but every time there's a glimmer of hope in this division, whether it was The American Wolves or London and Kendrick, it turns out to be nothing more than false hope and they fade into obscurity. I don't know about Alex, but I'm not holding my breath.

Alex Shelley
Remember Men of Honor? A bunch of characters those guys were, right?

{Chris Sabin}
Men of what?

Alex Shelley
Of Honor. They jumped us that one time, then they jumped on each other, then things got awkward and they went their different ways.

{Chris Sabin}
Doesn't ring a bell

Alex Shelley
They sure rung our bells, but I guess that all doesn’t matter now because we got the last laugh in the end.

{Chris Sabin}
I’m tempted to make a West Side Army joke.

Alex Shelley
Don’t bother, they’re a joke that writes themselves. Do you remember New Age Outlaws?

{Chris Sabin}
Speaking of asses…

Alex Shelley
Melina has a nice one, doesn't she?

{Chris Sabin}
I'd rather not talk about the ex of my opponent at Supremacy.

Alex Shelley
As if Miz could snag a babe like that…. Right? Oh, you meant Morrison didn't you?



Hermie
Speaking of Morrison, if I may interject here… Chris, what are your thoughts on this match? You've beaten Morrison in tag team action before, you beat him to earn a shot at the title, though in both instances you never actually pinned him to win the match. Is that something that you've considered, and backing up a bit, do you resent the fans a little for not voting you into the match at Digital Decision?

{Chris Sabin}
Do I resent the fans? No, of course not. The day that happens is the day that Miz is actually taken seriously. I do hold two wins over Morrison without actually pinning him, but I consider them hollow victories. Alex pinned him in the Tag Match and I pinned Yoshi Tatsu in the Fatal Four Way last week. I've never faced Morrison one on one before, he's quick, he can fly, he could hold his own with the best of them and he knows what he's doing in the ring.

Alex Shelley
Or so it seems, at least from where I’m sitting… you know, all the way over here.

{Chris Sabin}
I'm taking nothing away from him, other than Alex, I think he may be the only other person in this company or around the world that can match my speed in that ring. He's held that Intercontinental Championship for what? Eight months now? It's time for someone else to step up and dethrone him, and that person is going to be Chris Sabin.

Hermie
Well if you two have your way at Supremacy you’ll be standing tall with two of the three major titles in this company, which is a far cry from being official tag team champions. Is this something you guys imagined accomplishing when you first got the band back together?

Alex Shelley
It’s not that we didn’t think we could do it, because obviously we could, just look at us, you have the fastest and the most athletic and then you have the most technically sound with the best hair, but winning the United States or the Intercontinental or even the World Championship was just not something we even considered back then. We were like robots with only one setting: tag team, tag team, tag team. It’s why we went above and beyond with getting these Ersatz Tag Team Championships, going through that three team gauntlet and then that handicap match against the nWo, but after months of giving and giving and not getting anything but disappointment in return the organic part of us overtook the mechanical side and that’s when we snapped out of it and realized that there’s only so much we can do. Not only that, but people were starting to think that we were one trick ponies, and so we had to take a little sabbatical from our tag team plans to prove them wrong.



{Chris Sabin}
I couldn't have said it better myself. Alex broke the tag team mold that we've been so used to since we started teaming many years ago by winning the United States Championship, and I plan on doing the same when I face John Morrison at Supremacy. Since the start of The Guns, we've been looked as a tag team, where one was the other wasn't far behind. That's all we knew, that's all we wanted. Just two best friends who enjoy doing the same things together against the world. Sure, we've had some disagreements every now and again, but things like that only help this team survive that much longer. We've outlasted every single team that has stood across the ring from us. From The Kings of Wrestling to The Road Warriors, from Orton and Curtis to The American Wolves and to the most recent team, London and Kendrick. We've proven night in and night out that The Motor City Machine Guns are here to stay.

Hermie
You guys definitely have made it clear that you’re not going anywhere, and over the years we’ve watched you wrestle, whether it’s alone or as a team, your distinctive wrestling styles have emerged and really set you two apart even though you work so well together. Can you tell us a little more about that?

Alex Shelley
It really boils down to me loving nothing more than catching my opponent off-guard by knowing every reversal to every hold they can think of while also putting them in submission they’ve never been in before – just for fun. I pride myself on being one of the best mat workers and I may not win them all but every time I get into that ring I make sure my opponents never forget the man who easily outwrestled them and made them look like amateurs.

{Chris Sabin}
And I'm the complete opposite, I'd rather use an aerial based offense over a mat based one simply because I love to fly around the ring, whether it's to hit Tornado DDTs or a springboard clothesline. I like to use the ring to my advantage, more specifically, the ropes and the turnbuckle. I'll use the ropes to give myself a bit more momentum before I hit a suicide dive or whatever I decide to do at that moment. Also, just throwing this out there, people seem to underestimate the power behind our kicks way more than they should, they fail to understand that a kick from a Gun is enough to knock you out cold.

Hermie
There’s definitely a number of moves either of you could pull out at any moment to knock your opponent out. Alex, you spoke about bringing back the Border City Stretch, is that something we can expect to see from you at Supremacy?

Alex Shelley
It’s almost like I forgot about the move or something, I was just so set on getting pinfalls that I nearly forgot just how great it feels to push someone to the edge and test their pain threshold until they have no choice but to tap out. So yeah, you should definitely expect to see the move resurface in a title match near you. I won’t say how I’ll hit it and I won’t say when, but you’ll know it when you see it and Miz will know it when he feels it.

Hermie
What about you, Chris? I’ve noticed you starting to use the RKO. Have you been taking tips from Randy Orton?



Alex Shelley
He has been spending a lot of time on the internet searching for different kinds of baby oil. I didn’t put two and two together until this very moment. Of all the guys to ask for body tips and borrow moves from… I’m a little hurt.

{Chris Sabin}
It's not like that, Alex, and I've used the “RKO,” as you call it, before in the past. So I figured what better time to bring it back than now and it secured me an Intercontinental Championship match.

Alex Shelley
Well between the three of us, Chris does it better anyway. Maybe Orton should go back to the Overdrive. He deserves a move as boring as that.

{Chris Sabin}
Just a quick question before we continue this, is there any way you can cut that out? I'd rather not have a pissed off Randy Orton after us because I “stole his move” and Alex calling him boring doesn't help. We already have enough on our plate as it is.

Alex Shelley
Ah, don’t worry about him, Chris. What is he gonna do? He’ll bore himself to sleep before he gets anywhere near us.

{Chris Sabin}
Alex, please. Think of the children.

Alex Shelley
Does Orton think of the children when he…

The audio suddenly cuts off and a black bar appears over Shelley’s mouth with these words on it: “This content has been removed at the request of Chris Sabin.”

Alex Shelley
…and that’s just when he’s bald.

{Chris Sabin}
Damn...

Hermie
Wow, I’ve never heard anything quite that disturbing before. I guess it’s time we move away from the wrestling questions. So you guys must travel a lot together. How do you not get sick of each other?

Alex Shelley
That one’s easy, I try to catch as much sleep as I can while we’re on the road. That’s why I don’t do too much driving.

{Chris Sabin}
When you're on the road as much as we are, mainly because we don't fly since ironically enough, Alex is scared of heights, you got to come up with stuff to say and do to fill the awkward silence of a long drive. Instead of the car we're in being filled with silence, it's filled with Alex snoring.

Hermie
Now what about your…

The interviewer is cut off by Shelley’s snoring and Sabin shakes his head.



Hermie
I guess… we’ll have to compete this another time! Thank you for joining me on the show Chris, thank Alex for me two whenever he gets up.

The screen fades to black as Hermie gets up and walks away leaving Sabin alone to try and wake his slumbering partner.