XWL.com Exclusive: Motor City Diaries: 2 Titles, 1 Team

Alex Shelley
How’s it going folks? This is your United States Champion, Alex Shelley, standing here with the potential future Intercontinental Champion, Chris Sabin, and together we are your Ersatz Tag Team Champions, The Motor City Machine Guns, also known as the greatest tag team in XWL history. And as we stand here tonight we find ourselves in a pretty interesting situation. You see, for a long time now people have been writing off The Guns as a strictly tag team act yet week after week we’ve been making a habit out of proving them wrong.



Alex Shelley
Now my legendary exploits as the US Champion have been well-documented, but in a few short weeks this team will take a big leap into uncharted territory, because not only have we proven on multiple occasions that we are the best team this company has ever seen, we are just a few votes away from proving that we are two of the best singles wrestlers in this company too. But we need your help to get Chris that title match, folks, vote as many times as you can because the last thing we want is to have to deal with a Daniel Bryan or Miz reign. Nobody has worked harder over the years, no one has sacrificed more, physically and financially, than Chris and at Digital Decision you can make his dreams come true.



{Chris Sabin}
For six months now, The Motor City Machine Guns have turned away every team that has stood in front of us. Teams came from around the world for a shot at our Ersatz Tag Team Championships and one by one, they had their dreams crushed into a million pieces before going back from where ever they came from. Now, after all that time, Alex and myself pushed away the temptation to go after singles championship gold, but at Dead Man's Hand, Alex became the United States Champion and with that, what's next for Chris Sabin?



{Chris Sabin}
The choice was quite simple really, but before I could make it, Miz blindsided us during Alex's celebration and took me out for a month. I made my in ring return at Unforgiven and put Miz down for the three count. And with Digital Decision just over the horizon, I have been announced as one of the potential challengers to John Morrison's Intercontinental Championship, along with Daniel Bryan and The Miz. That brings me to you, the viewers and the voters, the power is in your hands, you have the opportunity to vote in who you believe is the rightful Number One Contender for the Intercontinental Championship at Digital Decision.



Alex Shelley
Speaking of believing, Miz must believe that he can fly after getting one over on me like that last week. It seems that I overestimated just how badly you emasculated him at Unforgiven, Chris, and I have to give him some credit, that little guy sure does know how to get his ass kicked, but there’s no excuse for losing to someone like that. I was ready to call it a career after last week; I was going to hang up the boots, dry clean the tights for the last time, then switch gears and focus on my other dream in my childhood "top 5 careers" to become a fire truck; unlike in the 80s, we have the technology now. But to see me up and quit is what the Miz would have wanted and I wasn’t about to let him get the last laugh.



Alex Shelley
That honor will be saved for the Machine Guns when the fans vote Chris into the match leaving poor Miz to do nothing more than spend the night wondering where things went wrong for him. His biggest mistake was getting into this business in the first place, then it just kept spiraling downwards until he had no choice but to attempt to salvage his career by targeting the two hottest prospects in XWL. I’m getting ahead of myself, because in order for The Guns to reign supreme I have to pull my weight and get past Kofi Kingston one more time. You took him on last week, Chris, were you impressed?



{Chris Sabin}
He impressed me way more than Miz did at Unforgiven, but that's not saying much since I could wrestle a broomstick and still say the same thing. Kofi, on the other hand, is one hell of an athlete, he did something that no one has been able to do since we faced off in that ring nearly two years ago, he pushed me beyond my physical limitations and at Digital Decision, you're in for one hell of a match, Alex. But regardless of what match is chosen, I still believe that you will walk out as the United States Champion.



{Chris Sabin}
That's not until a few weeks from now, tonight, you get to see what Kofi is capable of in that ring first hand, while I also get to scout my potential opponent at Digital Decision. And the best part of all this is that The Motor City Machine Guns return to their roots and make their return to the tag team scene. John Morrison and Kofi Kingston will team up to face us, the greatest tag team in the world, the longest reigning Ersatz Tag Team Champions, The Motor City Machine Guns.



Alex Shelley
And hey, at the rate we’re going we’ll be the only Ersatz Tag Team champions. There’s some people out there who’d love nothing more than for us than to throw up our hands in defeat and give up, but if The Guns called it a day every time things got a little rough we’d be Shawn Michaels, and the way things are looking for him…. Let’s just say that wasn’t a complement. Speaking of the HBkid, it seems that some people don’t want to see a smile, Chris, they want to see get stomped six feet under and then laugh as our graves are pissed on.



{Chris Sabin}
Unfortunately for those people, we won't be losing our smile anytime soon. Just like Alex won't be losing that United States Championship for the foreseeable future, just like we won't lose these Ersatz Tag Team Championships, and just like we're going to defeat the Intercontinental Champion and your Number One Contender, respectively. We'll beat them with our swift kicks, our deadly double team moves, and our dashingly good looks that will put Cody Rhodes to shame. Before I forget, were you aware that Miz called you a chicken, Alex? If you're a chicken, does that make him an egg?



Alex Shelley
Nothing that ugly could come out of this ass.

{Chris Sabin}
And speaking of ass, it's time for another edition of Ask Sabin and Shelley.



Alex Shelley
We did this once before and because of the rave reviews we’ve received we decided to bring it back. Just listen to the praise. Stayreem F. said: “I never thought I’d be into ASS, but now I just can’t get enough of it!” Afma York M. said: “ASS is now one of my favorite things in the world, I live and breathe all things about it!” Gary E. said: “I got fired from work because all I could talk about was how much I love ASS!” So how about we give the people want they want, Chris? First question: What would you bring if you were stuck on a deserted island?



{Chris Sabin}
You know me better than anybody, Alex, you know I wouldn't be stupid enough to get stuck on a deserted island.

Alex Shelley
But if you were?

{Chris Sabin}
Then I'd be The Miz.

Alex Shelley
And is being Miz not the American dream?

{Chris Sabin}
The next question we got is... for Mitch? Am I reading this right? Sorry unlucky Mitch fan, this is Ask Sabin and Shelley, not Ask Mitch.

Alex Shelley
Nice try, Mitch but nobody cares about you.

{Chris Sabin}
Are you sending in questions to yourself again, Mitch?

Alex Shelley
Is this what it's come down to? While we’re on the subject, Chris what was the most desperate thing you’ve seen someone else do?



{Chris Sabin}
Well, I've seen Miz wrestle and Wade try his hardest to beat you, then there's Mitch sending himself questions and there was that one time we were in South Dakota with the guy in the chicken suit, but I'd rather not talk about that. Add the Wolves trying to take us out repeatedly week in and week out.

Alex Shelley
How is chicken suit man doing, by the way?

{Chris Sabin}
Last I heard, he was fighting crime in his trusty chicken suit.

Alex Shelley
You'd think they'd learn to leave it to the professionals.

{Chris Sabin}
I agree, those cops will never learn.



Alex Shelley
And just when you thought it was safe to let the kids out. Here’s another question for you, Chris, what was the best gift you’ve ever gotten from a kid?

{Chris Sabin}
His mother’s phone number.

Alex Shelley
What did you do when you realized it was fake?

{Chris Sabin}
What makes you think it was fake?

Alex Shelley
Because when I dialed it some dude answered.

{Chris Sabin}
And that's all the time we got for ASS, and with that, another Motor City Diaries comes to an end. With Digital Decision drawing closer and closer, you have the chance to make my dream a reality when I have a chance to get voted in to face John Morrison for the Intercontinental Championship. Remember that a vote for Chris Sabin is a vote for America.



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