XWL.com Exclusive: Motor City Diaries: Chris Sabin knows what you did in the dark

The video opens with The Ersatz Tag Team Champions, The Motor City Machine Guns sitting inside of a locker room and both men appear a little fatigued as whatever strenuous activity they were doing together before the cameras got rolling has Shelley wiping sweat off his brow and Sabin taking a few deep breaths.



{Alex Shelley}
Ah another day, another entry into critically acclaimed Motor City Diaries that all you Motor City faithful tune into whenever Mitch 2.0 can bother showing up to record us doing what we do when we do it regardless of whether or not he agrees with our methodology. You following me right now, Chris?

{Chris Sabin}
That's what we... I pay him for, to record us whenever he pleases, isn't that right, Mitch 2.0? He's not actually behind the camera right now, he went to go take a bathroom break. Poor guy, he has the bladder of an infant. There are a few things that we, the greatest Ersatz Tag Team Champions in the world, The Motor City Machine Guns, need to address in this edition of Motor City Diaries. Alex, why don't you start us off?

{Alex Shelley}
If I had a dollar for every time someone said that to me… I would have two bucks to my name because Chris here also wanted me to start things off in our tag match we had a few moments ago here at this local show. Of course The Wolves aren’t here because they only care about trying to get their star to shine on the big Redemption and Breakdown events, but The Guns aren’t too good for all of you and we absolutely don’t have a problem being here in this intimate setting… and by intimate I mean in front of a few hundred people instead of the usual few thousand. And it was those few thousand that watched last week as those savages jumped Chris, forced him to compete in what basically a handicap match and then ran scared when I finally came to after Wade sucker-elbowed me. So Chris here is feeling a bit sore, but he has nothing to be ashamed of. He put up a good fight and almost had them on one or two occasions.



{Chris Sabin}
I'm not going to lie, I'm still not in the best of moods after what happened last week, but I'm still standing, American Wolves. Even when the odds are stacked against us, there's nothing you can do that will keep a good gun down. Even with Wade Barrett landing a cheap shot on Alex, he's still standing too. Wolves, you're afraid of what we're capable of when we're not playing games, when we're in the zone, and Wade, did you see how fast Alex got up from your “Bull Hammer?” If that's the best you've got, then it's pretty much set in stone that you're losing the United States Championship at Dead Man's Hand. Alex Shelley: one half of the Ersatz Tag Team Champions and the United States Champion. Rolls right off the tongue, doesn't it?

{Alex Shelley}
It sure does, because it’s at Dead Man’s Hand when the statement is made that The Machine Guns aren’t one-trick ponies. We’re not one-dimensional, and just because we’ll always have each other’s back doesn’t mean that we don’t know how to get business done on our own. Me being at ringside doesn’t give him some insurmountable advantage, and him being by my side during my title match doesn’t guarantee victory. We’ve worked our asses off for the chances we’ve received and we’ve earned the success we’ve accumulated. If The Wolves want a piece of us, then they’ve got it; there’s plenty of us to go around and we’re never too busy to put down an animal that’s lost its way. What was it they said Chris, that this was a Best of 7 now? Wolves, if you think you’re going to take four straight from us then I don’t think you remember how we’ve embarrassed you over the weeks. But it’s okay because we won’t mind refreshing your memories for you.

{Chris Sabin}
At first, I thought they were joking, but as it would turn out, they were serious, Alex. What makes you think you could defeat us three more times, you could barely put me away and that was a handicap match. You made one statement, American Wolves, and that was it. You bit us once and we kicked you in the face, we locked you in a cage, we hunted you in your own habitat, and what have you done since then? Not a damn thing. We would love to keep playing this game with you, but we have better things to do with our time, like beating Alex's best time in Mario Kart...



{Alex Shelley}
Or beating Wade for the United States Championship…

{Chris Sabin}
Flying a kite...

{Alex Shelley}
Wondering who the two “sharks” are going to be...

{Chris Sabin}
Reminiscing about the time we locked the Wolves in a Steel Cage...

{Alex Shelley}
Fantasizing about bashing Wade over the head with a guitar…

{Chris Sabin}
Trying to figure out how much of my money Alex is going to spend buying guitars to hit Wade with...

{Alex Shelley}
Contacting Mason Ryan to help with my victory speech….



{Chris Sabin}
And eating some pancakes after a hard fought match. Now if you’ll excuse me…

Sabin gets up and walks off screen to embark on a quest to satisfy his hunger leaving Shelley alone in front of the camera.

{Alex Shelley}
In case you couldn’t figure it out Wade, I’ll be ready for you at Dead Man’s Hand. I don’t care who’s lurking outside of the ring thinking they’ll slow me down, I don’t care if you wear your lucky elbow pad because you won’t get a chance to use it on me and I don’t care what excuses you’ll have lined up for after you leave the pay per view empty handed. These are your final days as champions and these are your final days of relevancy in this company. Now if you don’t mind, I could go for a meal myself.

The screen fades to black as Shelley gets up and goes about his day.