XWL Breakdown: 5/2/2011 - 5/8/2011

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Well, I can parkour better than John Morrison.

We see a replay of the events that took place two weeks ago with Sheamus assaulting Jericho in the parking lot, followed by a vicious High cross right on the front bunker of Jericho’s car. We then see a replay of last week when Del Rio actually managed to make the world champion TAP OUT!

Jr: That was one nasty High cross. Not only did Jericho end up on the worst end of the stick, but his car also ended up with a huge dent!

King: Maybe he should quit it with the Junk food. Just look at that big belly that he has! God put a shirt on Jericho. Do it for the Children!

Style: I’m actually very impressed with Jericho because despite his condition last week he still went up face to face with not only the man responsible for his attack in Sheamus, but also Del Rio.

King: Oh yeah, that bravery served him well, now did it? Jericho is a guy that just barges into a situation without thinking which is why you always see him with some tape covering a bruise. Last week big rise for Del Rio because he made Chris Jericho tap out, and seriously when was the last time that Jericho tapped out in XWL? I can’t even remember, but the important person here is Del Rio, and I’m looking forward to this man. Definitely one of my new favorites in XWL today.

Style: I can just imagine how you will be feeling when Sheamus and Del Rio face of. Both of your favorites King. Who will you be pulling for?

Chris Jericho’s theme songs begins to play.




The crowd gives Jericho an immense ovation as they prepare to see the current and 4 time XWL World champion. Jericho eventually appears on the entrance stage with his usual suit that he probably wears for every occasion. Seriously, does he have hundreds of those all across his hotels? Anyways he stops on the top of the entrance stage basking into all of the fans cheers. He turns his head around trying to repress the excrutiating pain that he’s feeling all over his body. He goes walking down the ramp.

Jr: He may have a suit on, but last I saw Jericho had tape all around his chest, and also on the part of his right shoulder. If he still has all of those injuries by Sadistic conquest, then Sheamus will have one hell of a target to shoot.

King: Yeah, that mean’s Sheamus can win the match quicker than we expected.

Jericho continues to walk.




He then goes up the steel steps, and he enters the ring. He stands in the ring, and he’s awfully serious for a guy who goes around life as if it was one big joy ride. He grabs a microphone, and he then begins to talk almost immediately.

Jericho: Over the past week I’ve been sort of out there you know not really being in the XWL wrestling mood so to speak. I’ve had so much on my mind as of late with these big 3 names that have been going after me for the past couple of weeks with the idea of earning a championship match. I actually decided to take a luxury vacation heading to Miami. To South beach to hear the seagulls cry, and to just relax with the sound of the sea soothing my mind and soul. Why didn’t I tag along with the XWL crew you may ask? Well, first of all I’m Chris Jericho, and I could do whatever I damn please. If I want to take a break between matches to take a bite of my sandwhich, then with god as my witness I will. If I want to take a nice short break to see the beauty known as women in bikinis then I damn will do it. Even with a body that’s taped up from the upper half, it’s still sexy enough to get more action than anyone in that locker room.

Crowd cheers.

Jericho: I was just sitting back there enjoying a tan thinking of everything that has happened in the course of these past couple of weeks. It hasn’t been easy, but I am the world champion, and should be ready to expect the unexpected. I guess I should lose some cool points for letting Sheamus get the better of me 2 weeks ago. That was a very sneaky attack though Sheamus, and I got to hand it to you I’m still feeling the effects of that attack. Last week I was in action, and I was having a hard time throwing a punch or even kicking. It’s quite sad when someone like me who claims to be the very best at what he does crumbles down into such a foreign level. I’m not going to make excuse though.. Last week Alberto Del Rio and Sheamus both used their brains to turn the match into their favors, and there greatest gratification turned out to be Chris Jericho getting his ass handed to him all over the corners of this ring. Last week, Alberto Del Rio not only beat me… No, he made me tap out! Hey Del Rio, if you ever do become a world champion, then remember to include me in your congratulatory speech. I seriously can’t remember the last time that I tapped out.

Crowd boooo’s Del Rio. Jericho stops what he was going to say, and a sly smile forms as the fans chant “ Del Rio sucks” over and over again.

Jericho: Now now, I know he’s a Jackass among Jackasses, but he’s talented and deserves the props for toppling down the world champion. If I were in there position then I would have found a way to make an impact as well because that’s what this is. It’s a competition to see who impresses more. Who makes the bigger impact, and last week Del Rio not only made me tap out but he also made Sheamus into on angry little Ghost monster, and that’s saying something because it’s not every day that he loses his cool. So yeah, Del Rio beat me, and right now my upper body hurts, and my arm is nagging from all the damage from last week’s handicap match. If I were a betting man, then I without a doubt would pull all my money on Sheamus to win the street fight at Sadistic Conquest which will lead him into his second world title reign in XWL. Wait let me rephrase it because he labeled the match an “IRISH” STREET FIGHT. What’s the difference? I have absolutely no freaking idea!




Crowd booo’s again, now chanting “Sheamus sucks.”

Jericho: Hear me out people, because serious Jericho is serious. The last time we faced off in that match he high crossed me into a flaming table. I’m never going to forget that moment because it was one of the most painful experiences of my entire career. Here’s the thing though, the last time I faced him in that match I was physically 100 percent. Now, I can’t even stretch without feeling that hurting joint. I’m hurting like hell here, and I just hate it. So, just imagine Sheamus’s chances of winning this match when I’m a walking uncoordinated loser right now.

Crowd booo’s, not agreeing with Jericho’s statement.

King: I’m glad that Jericho has finally come to his senses guys. Even now she should realize that Sheamus is the future of this business, and Jericho should step down and just lose. He’s boring, and Sheamus could lead us into a new generation. I applaud Jericho for finally seeing what we see.

Style: What do you mean we?

Jericho: But you know, on the upside Sadistic Conquest is looking out to be one of the most exciting PPV’s of all time! No surprise with that of course, but we’re not only going to have the street fight for my world championship, but there’s also that Hell in a Cell that I was talking about last week, and go figure tonight I’m facing off against the same person that I said I was pulling for. Oh the irony of life and its sudden mysteries. Like I said I’ve been in a couple of Hell in a Cell, and like I said it’s a complete life gamble in that horror. I feel like I wouldn’t feel all banged up now if I only eased up on the Hell in a Cell matches, so with that said once again you have to give Ted Dibiase and Wade Barrett the gut’s for going into that Hell in a Cell match. If I’m not mistaken this is the youngest match-up that we’ve seen in Hell in a Cell, so it should be interesting to see how that match unfolds in the end.

Jericho paces back and forth before talking again.




Jericho: win or lose, all of you are going to end up being the winner as you see live this marvelous event that will get bloody really fast. I’m willing to say that even one of the announcers might get in the way of the destruction that will soon fall upon this squared circles in a mere couple of days, and by the looks of it my reign as champion is coming to an end. I face Sheamus in a street fight, and tonight I have to face Ted. It’s a freaking busy night to be world champion, and Vickie doesn’t really understand the term known as sympathy. Goes to show you that Vickie and Sheamus really are meant for each other in there wild safari which is Vickie Guerrero’s office. Warning sign, you may be susceptible to peculiar noises. Get your Barbecue sauce ready for the big diner.. Ugh…. Even that gave me the willies.

Crowd cheers and Jericho has a tasteless expression.

Jericho: Regardless of Sheamus and his like for cougar like women’s, let’s stray away from this animal pack. Again, I’m not going to say that I’m going to win because I would hate to…. IRONICALLY… End up looking like a hypocrite to all of you who are quite frankly behind me even if I’m an ass or not. Ah, for the love of zombies jesus! Seriously, I look back at my old videos of talking to you all and I can’t BELIEVE I could stand talking in such a serious tone.

Crowd cheers even louder

Jericho: Me losing to Sheamus? I could be on one leg, and still throw that Marshmallow known as Sheamus all across Ireland and back into the ring to beat the living holy hell out of him. If his pack of pale knights surround me in that championship match, I will still call all those freaks Jackasses, and burn in hell with a smile knowing that I verbally owned Sheamus on my last steps in planet earth. Alright, maybe the death part is going a little out to the south, but the point is I’m not going to let you win Sheamus. I’m going to beat the living hell out of you so you can jot it down on your mind once and for all. I don’t want there to be any doubts when I beat you in YOUR match. I’m Chris Jericho…The Ayyatolah of Sexy and Rollah. The man who loves the H word. The man who is the best in the world AT WHAT HE FREAKING DOES! Am I the best at baking doughnuts? Perhaps, but I’m also the best at beating Sheamus down a curve. Sheamus, keep this in mind. If I find an opportunity during our street fight, then beware. Because I am willing… TO.BREAK.YOU.

Jericho’s theme songs begins to play, and the crowd cheer him. Jericho looks toward the crowd, again letting out a sly smile, and he then chuckles. He goes between the ropes, heading up the entrance ramp.

King: Just when you think a man could change..

Jr: I’m glad that Jericho is going into what is sure to be a bloody war bath, but I’ note sure how much big his chances are. The human body can only take so much.

Style: I believe in Chris Jericho Jr, and I know he’ll find a way to beat Sheamus.

King: You guy’s disgust me. I can’t wait to rub it in your faces when Sheamus becomes world champion again.

Jr: Well, regardless Jericho has a match later on tonight against Ted Dibiase, and that will be the Main event ladies and gentlemen so stay tuned for what’s bound to be a classic!

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