XWL.com Exclusive: New Signing Press Conference

The video shows a small press conference in progress, a man in a suit can be seen standing on the podium speaking to a small crowd of people, eventually the audio fades in and what is being said can be heard.

[XWL Management]: Thank you all for joining me on such short notice, we at XWL have arranged this press conference due to being on the verge of a groundbreaking signing here at XWL. Ladies & Gentlemen, I hope you will all recognise the face and help me welcome back into the World of Wrestling: “Flying” Brian Pillman.



[Pillman]: Thank you. First off, I would like to thank everybody who has given me the opportunity to be here tonight and... Sorry, I'm tearing up a little bit. *Ahem* It is to my understanding that before I sign the contract the XWL Management wish that I answer a few questions.

[Adam McCann]: Mr. Pillman, Adam McCann from Pro Wrestling Illustrated. After so many years away from the business, how does it feel being able to have the opportunity to come back and compete on such a grand stage?



[Pillman]: How does it feel? Well to be honest with you it feels great, I mean to be handed this chance so many years down the line from when I left the business is staggering and the support I’ve been given from the XWL team is simply breathtaking… I don’t think I could’ve done it without their full support because they were behind me every step of the way during my decision making and it just seems you can’t keep Brian Pillman away haha… Ok, next question.

[Mylique Klass]: Brian, Mylique Klass from the classiest newsletter in existence: The XWL Newsletter. What made XWL stand out to you? What made you feel that XWL should be the company that you make your return to Wrestling?



[Pillman]: That’s a good question. What makes XWL the place to be? What makes XWL the place where everybody wants to go? The answer is simple, the people. The people watch this show week in and week out and coming to a place like this where the fans are the upmost importance is something that I really wanted to do because it’s the fans that make this business tick, it’s the fans that make our World spin and without them, we would be nothing so I personally want to thank each and everyone of them. Thank you all, you’re all doing such a stand up job.

[XWL Management]: Before we go any further, why don’t we go ahead and get to the contract signing? Brian, all you have to do is sign this contract and you will be apart of the XWL family and I think we’re all excited when I say you will officially be XWL’s newest roster member.

[Pillman]: I sign right here?

[XWL Management]: Right there, Brian.



[XWL Management]: Alright folks, there you have it. The deal is done and now I can officially welcome Brian to the XWL family and can I just say, we are all happy to have you. Does anybody have any questions for XWL’s newest talent?


[Alexander McGuire]: “Flying” Brian Pillman, Alexander McGuire from the Wrestling Observer. Now that you’re the newest member of the roster, is there anything you would like to say to the fans and fellow members of the roster?



[Pillman]: As a matter of fact I do…. Is that the kind of cookie cutter bullshit you expect out of your performers? First things first, it’s not “Flying” Brian Pillman it’s Mr. Pillman to all of you because I am not on a first name basis with any of you lowlife suits… What?... Don’t you dare try and tell me to calm down, I am calm. My name is on the dotted line and I can say any damn thing I want because that’s what this company is all about. All of you, every single one of you can now consider this a hostage situation until I’m done because if any of you try to move I will come down there and put my boot so far up your ass that the sweat on my knee will quench your thirst. Now, we all came here for some Q&A, so somebody sack up and ask me a question… Nobody? We were all chatty five minutes ago, what happened to you? YOU! Ask me a question!

[Kyle Vance]: Erm, Kyle Vance from th…

[Pillman]: I didn’t ask what your name was or what shitty paper you right for, I told you to ask me a question.

[Kyle Vance]: Who stands out to you in XWL at the moment, as “The Guy”



[Pillman]: The guy? Newsflash bucko, there is no “Guy” in XWL. Ric Flair used to say “To be the man, you’ve got to beat the man” and since the only thing Ric can do these days is show his pitiful face on national TV so he can pay his thousands of wives their alimony payments, he can no longer be classed as the man. What Ric Flair is, is a little bitch. Brian Pillman is the man, Brian Pillman is the guy to beat and until somebody does that nobody can claim that moniker. Not Triple H, not CM Punk, not John Morrison and despite what his thousands and thousands of yes men like to say, even the almighty Vince McMahon isn’t the man. They’re all frauds, fakes who are perverting the truth and speaking with their egos instead of their brains. Hiding the fact that they’re all cowards, who were all praying that this day didn’t come. But the day has arrived, Brian Pillman is here and he is looking for a fight!

[Pillman]: Hey, you! I never said you could move. So sit your ass back down in your chair and since you just volunteered yourself, ask me another question!

[David Vaughn]: Now that you’re apart of XWL, what are your plans for the future?



[Pillman]: You listen to me, I’m Brian fucking Pillman and I do what and want, when I want, not when anybody else tells me. I refuse to be shackled by XWL’s schedule, you are all on Brian Pillman’s schedule now, if I want a title shot then you bet your ass I’ll go out to the ring and take one, if I want blood you better believe that I will break some skulls and use their blood as war paint. XWL’s marketing scheme is the edgy TV show that isn’t afraid to cross the line right? Well if it’s edgy you want, then that’s what you shall receive because the Loose Cannon Brian Pillman is the King of controversy and I am back on my throne with all guns blazing. Let me tell you this, the last thing you want to do is piss off the King because I will cut your head off and use it as a foot stool.



[Pillman]: You know what… I’m out of here, you’re all boring the piss out of me and I can’t stand to be here for another seco…

[Ash Taylor]: But Mr. Pillman, don’t you have any closing statements?



[Pillman]: Do I have a closing statement? This company just made the biggest mistake of its time by bringing in The Loose Cannon Brian Pillman and think that everything will be fine and dandy. You can’t put a leash on the Reaper, The Loose Cannon cannot and will not controlled by some corporate stooges and as the whole World sits in fear merely pondering what Brian Pillman is going to do next, I’m getting ready to start a revolution. Thank you for your time, drive safely now, take it from a man who knows and I had better read some nice things in your articles.

Pillman kicks over the podium and flips off everybody in the room before noticing the camera and runs over to it as quickly as he possibly can, the cameraman tries to step back and stay out of Pillman's way but Pillman grabs hold of him, drags him close and begins to stare into the lens of the camera. The biggest smile comes across his face and he begins waving into the camera screaming “Hi, Mom!” before the video feed cuts off.