XWL Exclusive: “This ain’t a shoot”

Day three, and the roster has still proven itself to be full of a bunch of liars and cowards.. But today I’m not here to talk shit about the XWL locker room, I’m not here to talk about my open challenge.. No. I want to talk about the greatest technical wrestler in the world… Our World Champion; Daniel Bryan..



Rumor has it that Daniel Bryan is being forced to put his World Heavyweight Championship on the line at the Slammy awards. Let me just start off by saying that this is complete and utter bullshit… Daniel Bryan has proven time and time again that he is World Champion material. Yet every time that he fights and claws and EARNS his way into a title match, and WINS it, fair and square, despite the odds, this fucking company has the balls to try and screw him over.. And they’re not even being sneaky or clever about it this time. First they put him in a triple threat match, then they force him to put his title up against the winner of a fucking popularity contest, and now he has to defend his title literally the show directly after he JUST defended it against the toughest son of a bitch in this buisness?.. Fuckkkkkkkkkkkk… kkkkkkkk….kkkkkkkkkkk THAT…

Does Alexa Bliss have to defend her title at the Slammys? No.. Did Chris Sabin have to defend his title at Cyberslam? No.. What about Liv Morgan? I bet she isn’t being forced to put her title on the line two shows in a row!! Oh, and what’s that other title? Oh right. Did.. Did uh.. Fuck.. What’s the name of the tag champions? TEW? TSCU? TAEW? Oh right, TCSI.. The trash city shitty idiots or something like that.. Yeah, I bet that they don’t have to defend their titles at the Slammys either, not that anyone cares anyway… What I’m trying to say is that Daniel Bryan is blatantly being screwed over, and I for one am not going to stand for it.. So that being said. Whoever has the misfortune of facing Daniel Bryan at the Slammys IS going to be making their entrance with a black eye and a few broken fingers. Because as soon as I find out who Daniel’s opponent is, I’m going to walk right up to them and fuck their whole life up… And I MEAN IT.. And if you don’t think that I mean it, I fucking just said it in caps lock, so you better fucking believe it. And if you don’t know what the fuck I just did right there, then fuck it.. Fuck walls… And fuck you..

I’m not playing around here. I’m not just doing a playful promo or shoot where after I’m done I smile and mingle with the people I just got finished talking about… No. I want this to be personal. I want each and every one of my co workers to take it personally when I say that they are a bunch of fucking pussies.. Yeah I said it, I know that it’s 2019 and there are some “off limit” words that might offend some of the more easily triggered fuckers in the back. But here’s the thing about me. I say fuck limits, and I say fuck you.. I don’t give a fuck if I’m the most hated person in the locker room, hell I hope that I am. Because I’m not friends with cowards, and each and every one of the men in that locker room, Bobby Roode and Daniel Bryan excluded, have proven themselves to be just that, cowards.. Hell, I should have put out an open challenge to the women’s division instead, I bet that Rhea Ripley has bigger balls than the entire men’s locker room combined..

Look.. What I’m trying to say… Is fuck you, fuck the system, fuck XWL, fuck the GM’s, and fucking you better pray that you aren’t the one that has to face Daniel Bryan at the Slammy’s, because if you are… Then I’m going to fuck.. You… Up… I’m taking matters into my own hands. XWL thinks that they can screw Daniel Bryan over? They think that they can screw The Enterprise over?.. Well we’ll see who’s laughing when they have to pay the medical bill of Daniel Bryan’s opponent.. Yo for real though, I’m going to get fucking creative. I’m going to make a masterpiece on the floor with their blood. I’m going to show them the difference between the sound of their pinky being snapped, and their ring finger. Fuck, I’m going to look them straight in the eyes and then proceed to beat the holy hell out of them until they beg me to stop.. And guess what? I’m not gonna stop.. Not until I fucking feel like it.. I’m going to prove to everyone that you DO NOT fuck with The Enterprise..

And if you think that you can prove me wrong? Then accept my god damn open challenge, because if no one accepts it soon then I’m going to start calling wrestlers out by name.. And I will get personal.. And you won’t like it… So one of you better nut the fuck up soon..