Sammy Guevara Youtube Exclusive: “This is what success feels like”

“I honestly don’t give a fuck who you are…”

The vlog opens up to the irritated face of Jon Moxley looking down at an unfamiliar man. Well, he’s unfamiliar to those who strictly watch XWL Television and were using the restroom or looking at their phone during his segment on the Slammy Awards show.. However for those who have been watching his vlogs while he’s been wrestling on the indies, or were fortunate enough to watch his promo on last week’s Slammys, they know this man to be Sammy Guevara.. The scene then fades to black and transitions to the vlog’s theme song and logo...



The logo and music fade as we are shown Sammy Guevara staring back at us. He is wearing a backwards hat and a black hoodie. One can assume from the unmade bed, wrestling posters, and half eaten hot pockets laying around that Sammy is vlogging from his room.

Sammy Guevara
Whhhhhaaaaattttt’s happenin’ Panda Fam!! Welcome back to not only the hottes vlog in sports entertainment, but also the top trending vlog on the internet today, that’s right Logan and Jake Paul, suck it!!

Sammy does the “suck it” hand gesture.

Sammy Guevara
My subscribers sky rocketed the minute I made my debut at the XWL Slammy Awards Show!! Which means that for a lot of you, this is your first time watching my vlog!! So if you’re one of those people, then I’d like to welcome you to the Panda Fam!! And for those of you who have been watching since the beginning, thank you! If it wasn’t for all of you I would have never been noticed by XWL, so thank you for subscribing, thank you for liking the vids, and thank you for buying the merch. Without you none of this would have ever happened.. That all being said… Don’t forget to like this video, and subscribe if you haven’t already!! And if you want some of the hottest merch in the game, like this T-shirt I’m wearing..

Sammy looks down and notices that he is wearing a black plain hoodie.

Sammy Guevara
Oops.. I forgot that I was wearing this..

Sammy goes to take his hoodie off, but his arms get stuck in the sleeves. He tries to pull his arms free but only manages to slip backward out of his chair.

Sammy Guevara
F****

Sammy gets back to his feet quickly and rips the hoodie off. He sits back down in his chair and fixes his hair.

Sammy Guevara
I’ll edit that out.. Where’s a pen, I need to write a reminder to edit that out…

Sammy looks around him, before realizing he doesn’t have a pen.

Sammy Guevara
S***. That’s okay. I’ll remember….

Sammy makes sure that his hair looks perfect, takes a deep breath, and continues as if nothing happened.

Sammy Guevara
Like this!!!

Sammy points to his Sammy Guevara “The Best Ever” T-shirt.

Sammy Guevara
Then make sure you go to SammyGuevaraSpanishGod.com/merch and get all the hottest sellers!! And guess what!! All my merch  is going to be half priced for Black Friday weekend!! So click this link before the hottest merch in professional wrestling is all gone!!!

Sammy points to the air where the words “SammyGuevaraSpanishGod.com/merch” pop up.

Sammy Guevara
And finally for those of you who have been living under a rock, or just don’t appreciate greatness, allow me to properly introduce myself to all the new members of The Panda Fam!! My name is Sammy Guevara, and I AM the best…. Ever. Now some might try to argue that fact, but unfortunately for them, it is just that, a fact. I am The Best Ever. It’s undeniable, it’s indisputable, and if you don’t like it then I got two words for you… Too F**ing bad!! And I know that was three words, but I have to bleep one of them out to post this on YouTube so it only counts as two!!

Sammy kicks his feet up onto the desk, showing off his expensive wrestling boots.

Sammy Guevara
Check these bad boys out! XWL management didn’t like my indie attire so they had all new ring gear made for me before The Slammy’s!! These boots cost more than all of my indie ring gear in my closet, combined!!! I guess this is what it feels like to have made it!! Oh, and remember this!!

Sammy pulls out the Panda headwear that he was rocking during The Slammy Awards.

Sammy Guevara
This I decided to buy on my own to spice my entrance attire up!! Judging from Twitter it seems like The Panda Fam, as well as The XWL Universe, all thought it was as bad ass as I did!! Thanks for the love and support guys!! That being said, this thing wasn’t cheap… So…

Sammy points to the air where the words “SammyGuevaraSpanishGod.com/merch” pop up out of nowhere. Sammy then takes off his “Sammy Guevara The Best Ever” T-shirt and throws it on the camera, causing the screen to go black… The screen lights up after a moment and we see the back of Sammy as he is walking down a hallway. He passes a sign that says “Private Locker Room: TCSI”. Sammy looks back at the camera.

Sammy Guevara
What’s a TCSI? It sounds like a disease… Maybe that’s a private locker room for people with the TCSI virus.. I wonder what kind of disease that is.. Maybe it's the one that makes you overrated and irrelevant at the same time. Hey Marko, keep up.

The man holding the camera speeds up to catch up with Sammy just as he’s about to turn a corner.

Sammy Guevara
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoaaa… Hold up. You see that?

Sammy and the camera peek around the corner, showing none other than Jon Moxley talking to Robert Roode. Neither man have noticed Sammy or his cameraman. Sammy slips back around the corner before The Enterprise members can see him.

Sammy Guevara
I’m going to go talk to them!!

cameraman
I don’t think you should dude.. They’re the top guys of this company, I doubt tha-

Sammy Guevara
So what!! I’m the Best Ever!! They should want to talk to me!!

cameraman
Dude no.. This isn’t the indies anymore bro. That’s The Enterprise. Daniel Bryan is in that group, he’s the World Champion. Robert Roode is practically made of money and talent. Jon Moxley, well you just don’t mess with Jon Moxley. And you? Well, you haven’t even debuted on TV yet!!

Sammy Guevara
Well I’m about to tonight!! And then the whole world will know my na- Wait, The World Champion is in The Enterprise?? Well that settles it!! If The Enterprise is good enough for The World Champ, then it’s good enough for The Spanish God!! I’m going to go ask them if I can join!!

cameraman
Sammy n-

Sammy ignores his cameraman and marches out from around the corner. Robert has left, but Jon Moxley is still standing there looking at his phone. Sammy walks right up to him and slaps him on the back.

Sammy Guevara
Hey man!! My name is Sammy Guevara!

Jon Moxley
I honestly don’t give a fuck who you are…

Sammy Guevara
Well you should!! I’m new here, but you’ll be hearing a lot about me very soon!! That is, unless you already know me? Are you a part of The Panda Fam Dean?

Jon Moxley
My name’s not De- did you just say Panda Fam? Nevermind, who the f** did you say you are anyways? Are you one of the writers? I f**ing hate writers…

Sammy Guevara
What? No man!! Can’t you tell by my ring gear and custom T-shirt… Which you can get here..

Sammy points to the air where the words “SammyGuevaraSpanishGod.com/merch” appears out of no where. Moxley looks at where Sammy is pointing with a confused look.

Sammy Guevara
I’m a wreslter, just like you!!!

Jon Moxley
Trust me, you are not like me…

Sammy Guevara
Sure I am!!

Sammy looks over at Mox’s phone.

Sammy Guevara
Well for one, we have the same taste of women!! I also think Renee Young is smoking hot!! I mean, I wouldn’t put her pic as my phone’s background like you did, that’s kind of creepy, but I would totally give her The Spanish God’s Churro, if you know what I mean.. You see! We have plenty in common! What? Why are you looking at me like that? Are you and Renee friends? Oh shoot, is she your sister? Sorry dude…

Jon Moxley
That’s my wife d***head..

Sammy Guevara
Ha!! Good one buddy!! As if she would date someone like you!! You see! We are plenty alike! We both have a great sense of humor! And a huge imagination!!! So, what do ya say buddy? Do you think The Enterprise has room for The Spanish God?

Jon Moxley
The Spanish God?? What the f*** is The Spanish God??

Sammy Guevara
I am!! I’m The Spanish God!! Can’t you tell by looking at me?

Jon Moxley
There’s only one god where I come from, and he doesn’t dress like that..

Sammy Guevara
Hey isn’t that from The Aveng-

All of a sudden Moxley Dirty Deed’s Sammy!!! He then glares at the camera as the cameraman backs away.

cameraman
Hey dude, I told him not to bother you!! I think your wife is a wonderful women.. Dude plea-

Moxley hits the cameraman with a Dirty Deeds as well, sending the camera flying to the ground. The screen goes black…. It lights up a few moments later and we can see Sammy Guevara standing in the middle of an XWL ring with a mic in hand. The camera quality isn’t even close to XWL quality, and the cameraman is clearly standing in the crowd. All we can hear is the crowd’s boos until Sammy begins to speak into the mic. Those who watched Anarchy can recognize that this scene was from last week’s Slammy Awards.

Sammy Guevara
And that’s why I’m the one standing in the ring, and you all are the ones sitting on your fat lumpy a**es thinking that your boos effect The Spanish God!!!

The crowd’s boos are all that we can hear as the scene fades.. The screen lights up again and we can see Sammy walking down the XWL hallways. He has a plate of Mac n Cheese in his hands, which he is eating as he walks and talks to the camera.

Sammy Guevara
Wow!! Catering here is amazing!! Truffle Mac n Cheese!! Hell yeah!! This food is definitely fit for a Spanish Go-

Sammy was looking behind him at the camera and walked right into R-Truth!!! The cameraman catches up with Sammy, and we can see Mac n’ Cheese all over R-Truth’s shirt.

Sammy Guevara
My Mac N’ Cheese!! You idiot!! Watch where you’re going nex- hey wait a minute. I know you!! You’re that failed rapper turned failed wreslter right?

R-Truth
What did you just say?

Sammy Guevara
Yeah it is you! R-Truth!! You won the XWL World Title years ago. But since then have become nothing more than a comedy act, right? You couldn’t even win the Tag Team Titles at Cyberslam, and no one even cares about the Tag Team Titles!! You’re basically XWL’s Santino right? Hey man, someone has to do it.. You’re doing a great job at being a joke dude, keep up the good work.

Sammy picks a piece of the Mac N Cheese off of Truth’s shirt, eats it, and then walks away before the veteran wrestler can respond. The screen fades and we are then brought back to Sammy’s room. He is wearing a red hoodie this time.

Sammy Guevara
Wow!! What a crazy day!! Can you all believe that!! I was right in the middle of an XWL ring earlier tonight!! XWL!! Like I was saying before, none of this would have been possible without my Panda Fam!! And now that I’m on TV the Panda Fam is going to keep on growing!!! So if you haven’t already don’t forget to like this video and subscribe to my channel!! Next week I’m going to be vlogging during Anarchy, while I’m on live TV!! I had to run that by XWL management first, but they’re cool with it!! So you won’t want to miss out!! Subscribe so that you can be the first to know when that video drops!!!... Oh and don’t forget!!

Sammy points to the air where the words “SammyGuevaraSpanishGod.com/merch” appears out of no where. The screen then fades to black..