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 Happy Birthday...

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TheFilthParade
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PostSubject: Happy Birthday...   Wed Apr 09, 2014 7:57 pm

To Jerry!  cheers 
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PostSubject: Re: Happy Birthday...   Wed Apr 09, 2014 8:47 pm


Never forget us flag



*We return from a M.V.P. Hype up Video to a replay of Lucky Cannon's second episode of his Youtube Show*

{Lucky Cannon}
Welcome ladies and gentleman to the second ever episode of the luckiest show on the internet… “Are You Feeling Lucky”.. I’m your host, Lucky Cannon, aka Da-Lish, aka Mr. Steal Your Girl, aka the future I.C. Champion after I defeat 5 other wrestlers in the Elimination Chamber at Eye for an Eye…

*We go to Cannon's first segment as the camera shows a picture followed by the words "How To Catch A Leprechaun...*



{Lucky Cannon}
Every superstar has a pre-game ritual, Cody Rhodes has one, John Cena has one, I have one, even The Cerebral Assassin; Triple H has one!

*The camera cuts backstage where we see a man with a fake beard, Triple H T-Shirt, and long hair made to look like Triple H walking backstage. “Triple H” walks into a locker room door labeled “Ted Dibiase”. The camera shows a man dressed up to look like Ted sitting in the room with a Monopoly board set up.

{“Triple H”}
TIME TO PLAY THE GAMEEEEE!!!

{“Ted”}
Do you have to shout that every time we’re about to play Monopoly?

….


*”Ted” is leaning back in his chair with a smirk on his face. We see a large pile of Monopoly money and properties in front of him, and a small amount in front of “Triple H”.*

{“Ted”}
Okay Hunter, it’s your turn.

*”Triple H” looks at the board for a moment, looks at the mountain of money and properties in front of “Ted”, then looks at his two remaining properties and $5.*

{“Triple H”}
Errr….. Oh! Do you hear that! That’s my theme… looks like I have to go…

{“Ted”}
That’s fine, we can just finish the game later.

{“Triple H”}
Yeah sure, how abou-

*”Triple H” fake sneezes “accidently” knocking the monopoly board and pieces everywhere!*

{“Triple H”}
Whoops… Well….. See ya Ted!

*The camera cuts back to Cannon*

{Lucky Cannon}
My ritual as you all know is to eat the Magically Da-Licious, Lucky Charms… Which are A LOT better than John Cena’s lucky bowl of Fruity Pebbles may I add

*Cannon holds up the box for the audience to see*



{Lucky Cannon}
But my arch nemesis, Hornswoggle keeps stealing them from me, so I devised a plan to stop this once and for all!...

*The camera cuts to an area backstage where Lucky Cannon is shown sneering into the camera*

{Lucky Cannon}
Tonight is the night where I finally catch Hornswoggle! I devised a plan that is guaranteed to put an end to his devilish ways once and for all! You see, I strategically placed pieces of candy on the floor leading up to my master trap! Oh! Shhh! I think he’s coming!



*Cannon looks around the corner where we see Hornswoggle following the candy road. Cannon turns back to the camera and whispers*



{Lucky Cannon}
Now when Hornswoggle opens this door to follow the trail of candy a huge net will fall on him and I’ll capture him once and for all! Last time it was his fault that I got pummeled by Sting and that damn bat! So tonight I’m going to return the favor!

*Cannon pulls out a bat of his own, turns off the lights so it’s pitch black, and hides waiting for the door to open. Finally the door handle turns and the door opens! The net falls capturing Hornswoggle and Cannon leaps forward with the bat. Cannon swings the bat and we hear a large crack. Cannon turns on the lights and we see none other then the Chocolate Blueberry; Mark Henry standing in the net with a large welt on his head from where Cannon hit him with the bat. Behind Henry we see Hornswoggle looking on, pointing and laughing at Cannon. Cannon slowly backs up as Mark Henry leaps at him and the camera cuts to the next scene*



{Lucky Cannon}
My plan would have worked too if Mark Henry’s fat ass didn’t eat all the candy instead of Hornswoggle!.. Now I’m assuming you all know what Google is? You know the search engine where if you type I.C. Elimination Chamber it will show you links explaining how there is no chance that Randy Orton or Wade Barrett will be walking out the victor… Well Google has a nifty little devise called “I’m Feeling Lucky”



{Lucky Cannon}
So in this segment I will type in different superstars names and see what pops up if I click “I’m Feeling Lucky” cause Lucky Cannon is always feeling lucky!... So this week’s superstar will be none other than Randy Orton!... So lets see what pops up if I search… “Randy Orton’s new XWL T-Shirt”…okay I’m feeling Lucky…



{Lucky Cannon}
Huh, looks like XWL management is finally seeing the light. Now if only it said “Lucky Cannon’s number one” on the back I’d buy it!.. Now lets see what happens when we type “Lucky Cannon XWL”



{Lucky Cannon}
If you type my name you can watch me prove that I’m the fastest rising star in the XWL by defeating Heath Slater! Heath had the nerve to call me a nobody.. a loser. But when it was all said and done I was the one standing tall with my arm raised and he was the true loser… the true nobody. He thinks that he’s going to win the Elimination Chamber because it’s always been his dream, and he’s going to win it for the fans… boo hoo. I’m going to walk out the I.C. Champion because I’m the most capable of being a true champion, and chances are that luck will be on my side because of that.

*Cannon's next segment is met with a picture followed by the words "Advice From A Genius"*



{Lucky Cannon}
My intellect is far superior then any other XWL Superstar or fan in this arena. My high school had to make up a letter because my grades were far greater than just an A. It’s not fair to keep the knowledge I posses to myself. So in this segment I will be giving a small bit of advice to an XWL Superstar in the locker room.. and this week my advice is for none other then… The King of Cool; Carlito… I’ve been watching you on Redemption and week after week you win, and week after week you talk about how you rightfully deserve a shot at the United States Title. But you’re wasting your breath. We all know that The Miz will be facing Kevin Steen at Eye for an Eye, and chances are they will face off again at the next paper view, and the one after that, and the one after that, and the one… you get it. The only chance you have at obtaining a title is to do what I have done. Take the opportunity. I was given a shot at the I.C. title for one reason only.. to build up another Orton or Wade Barrett win. But I’m going to shock he millions by coming out of that chamber the victor. You need to force Vickie’s hand. Force her to put you in a match with Steen just like she did with Cena. Sure your title match will only be used to build up Miz and Steen’s PPV match like Cena’s was, but will you do what Cena did? Will you let an opportunity to become United States Champion slip out of your grasp?...

*We cut to the next scene where Cannon is sitting next to an unknown man*

JERRY'S REVIEW

{Lucky Cannon}
Now as you all know in order to become a successful XWL superstar you need to have skills both in the ring, and on the mic… like myself for instance.. So for my final segment of “Are you Feeling Lucky” I am going to invite a good friend of mine and HUGE XWL fan to the show.. He has volunteered to do a segment every week on the number one internet show of the XWL! So welcome to “Are you Feeling Lucky” Jerry!

{Jerry}
Thanks Lucky, it’s great to be on the show toni-

{Lucky Cannon}
Wait a minute.. what the hell are you wearing

{Jerry}
Huh?

{Lucky Cannon}
WHY ARE YOU WEARING A TED DIBIASE T-SHIRT AND NOT A LUCKY CANNON T-SHIRT!!!!

{Jerry}
Oh… well Ted is my favori-

{Lucky Cannon}
You better not say what I think you’re going to say! You better be wearing a Lucky Cannon T-Shirt next time your on the show!

{Jerry}
But there are no Lucky Cannon T-Shirts!

{Lucky Cannon}
… THEN MAKE ONE!!!

{Jerry}
Fine… Can I continue with the segment now?

{Lucky Cannon}


{Jerry}
I’ll take that as a yes… Well ladies and gentleman, like Lucky said you need to have both in ring skills and mic skills to make it in the XWL. In the past I have been writing a review of Redemption on XWL.com, but unfortunately due to the shitty economy XWL had to fire some of their staff… including me. So when Lucky invited me to do my review here on his Internet show I was overjoyed! First I will start by listing my top six favorite segments of both Breakdown and Redemption… Topping off Breakdown without a doubt was the exchange of words between Tyson Kidd and Evan Bour-

{Lucky Cannon}
WHAT!! TYSON KIDD AND EVAN BOURNE! WERE YOU EVEN WATCHING THE SHOW!!

{Jerry}
If I wasn’t I wouldn’t have known that Tyson and Eva-

{Lucky Cannon}
SHUT UP!! HOW THE HELL COULD THAT BE YOUR FAVORITE! DIDN’T YOU SEE ME VERBALLY DESTORY HEATH SLATER! DIDN’T YOU SEE ME TELL THESE PEOPLE THE TRUTH ABOUT THE ELIMINATION CHAMBER! I WAS PRACTICALLY MAKING LOVE TO THE MIC AND YOU THINK THAT TYSON AND EVAN ARE NUMBER ONE!.. UN-BE-FUCKING-LIEVABLE!!

{Jerry}
Making love to the mic?... that’s not odd at all…Anyways…The runner up was a close call between the much anticipated segment involving Batista and M.V.P. and

{Lucky Cannon}
I swear to god if you don’t say Lucky Cannon…

{Jerry}
The Rock’s segment…

{Lucky Cannon}
FUCK THIS, I’M OUT!

*Lucky Cannon storms out of the room*

{Jerry}
Erhmm… Well it was hard choosing between the two but I had to give it to our WH Champion, The Rock. Coming in at number four is the surprising turning on the fans by the Guru of Greatness, followed closely by RVD’s backstage segment coming in at number five. And last but not least was the debut of Jersey Shore’s own… Robbie E… I will be choosing one of these segment to review as I have on XWL.com in the past. Now seeing as this show is called “Are you feeling lucky” I decided to leave it up to chance… So I will roll a six sided die to see which segment is to be reviewed!...

1- Tyson v. Bourne Promo
2- The Rock Promo
3- Batista v. MVP Promo
4- Morrison turning on the fans v. Angle + Post Match Promo
5- RVD Promo
6- Robbie E Promo


*Jerry rolls a……….















{Jerry}
Ahhh a four, Morrison’s turning on the fans segment! Now I have to admit, I was a huge John Morrison fan back when he was in the WWE. He was always known as having terrible mic skills but I have to disagree completely! Before The Dirt Sheet and during he was one of my favorites on the mic! So you can only imagine how glad I was when I saw this segment… Morrison started out the segment angry and rightfully so! He defeated the likes of Sheamus at Supremacy and was nowhere to be seen on the Elimination Chamber Cards! So JoMo then called out any superstar in the back to prove his dominance of Breakdown… Now regardless of Morrison turning on the fans I will still be a bigger Mofo then Zack Ryder’s dad, so when Angle came out to the fans cheers to confront Morrison I was booing The Gold Medalist the whole time chanting YOU SUCK! So Angle comes out and trys to pull a CM Punk by calling Morrison “Johnny”. He then says how the fans don’t hate Morrison but are concerned for his health…. concerned for The Prince of Parkour, the same man who can do this...



{Jerry}
Angle then says “you used to win a lot easier, hit your moves quicker, and take more risks”… aka; You’re getting old… but the fact of the matter is Morrison is more then ten years younger then Angle and in MUCH better shape…Angle then challenges Morrison to a match after talking about his gold medals and broken neck..  Morrison then responds by saying that the gold medal would look a lot better around the neck of The Shaman of Sexy. I can’t wait to see what this leads to next week!.. Now it’s time for Redemption…

*All of a sudden Lucky Cannon bursts through the door back into the room*

{Lucky Cannon}
Seriously Jerry?!! You’re already done with Breakdown and there’s not one mention of me! WHAT DO YOU THINK I’M PAYING YOU FOR!!

{Jerry}
But you’re not paying me…

{Lucky Cannon}
That’s besides the point.. if there’s not a mention of Lucky Cannon in the Redemption Review then I’ll ge-

{Jerry}
But you’re not even on Redemption!

{Lucky Cannon}
I DON’T CARE!!

{Jerry}
Well in this week’s Redemption we have a new superstar leading at number one.. Kevin Steen,  followed closely by Ted Dibiase’s interview that aired this week from after the Buried Alive Match. Coming in at number three is none other than CM Punk’s segment followed by Chris Jericho’s. Cena and Gabriel bring up the rear at numbers five and six… Once again I’ll be rolling a die to decide who gets the review..

1- Kevin Steen Promos
2- Ted Dibiase Post Buried Alive Match Promo
3- Punk Promo
4- Jericho Promo
5- John Cena Promo
6- Justin Gabriel Promo












{Jerry}
A four… Jericho’s segment.. This was a very enjoyable segment to watch. I loved watching him and Foley’s exchange of words at Supremacy and watching Jericho make Mick tap had me cheering. I’m not a hypocrite, I’m a Jericho fan! Jericho was clearly surprised that he was put in the EC after what happened Sunday, and rightfully so. But of course he believed that the reason why he was in it was because Mick was given a first hand example of Jericho’s true talent.

{Lucky Cannon}
Maybe if I beat the crap out of Mick then he’ll give me a shot too!

{Jerry}
Don’t!

{Lucky Cannon}
Fine…. I think that Jericho is forgetting about one thing. He deserved a one on one rematch clause for the WH Title against The Rock, but instead he is being put in a 6 man Elimination Chamber instead where anyone can come out the victor. Doesn’t he see that Mick is hiding the fact that he got robbed by putting him in this EC!!! Just like me Jericho is being put in the E.C. for all the wrong reasons!

{Jerry}
Well regardless I’m going to be keeping a close eye on Jericho on his road to the EC…….. and yes I’ll be watching your road to the I.C. E.C. as well Lucky…

{Lucky Cannon}
You better!

{Jerry}
This week’s fave five was hard to put together but here it is…



1- Ted Dibiase… Loved the Post Buried Alive Segment, and am SOOO glad that he “liked seeing his blood drip from his fists” and is going to continue using that gimmick along with his funny corny side as well. Can’t wait to see how he does in the E.C. and his interactions with other E.C. Contenders.
2- Tyson Kidd… Absolutely Loved the Bourne v Kidd segment, was my favorite pomo since joining XWL tbh. I will be keeping a really close eye on Kidd.
3- Kevin Steen… I was laughing IRL at the Steen promo where he was eating off of the U.S. Title like Miz said he would. I have really been enjoying the Steen promos as of late, and am proud to have him debut on the Fave Five along with Tyson Kidd this week.
4- The Rock.. Once again another brilliant segment from our Champion. I can’t wait to see the back and forth segments that are hopefully to come between The Rock and some of the E.C. members
5- Chris Jericho… Like I said in the review I really enjoyed the Jericho segment. Can’t wait to see what Jericho does next week!

{Lucky Cannon}
What! I could beat any of those guys one on one!

{Jerry}
HA!

{Lucky Cannon}
What’s so funny?

{Jerry}
You think you have a chance against The Rock?!?

{Lucky Cannon}
I could beat him without breaking a sweat… why you don’t??

{Jerry}
… I’d rather not answer that.

{Lucky Cannon}
THAT’S IT.. BROCK GET IN HERE!!!

*Brock Lesnar enters and towers over Jerry..*

{Lucky Cannon}
Well that’s the end of the show, don’t forget to subscribe to me on youtube and tune in next week!

*The camera fades away to a Maryse Hype up Video as Brock Lesnar chases Jerry around the room*

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PostSubject: Re: Happy Birthday...   Wed Apr 09, 2014 9:37 pm

happy birthday!




even though you'll probably never read this IGN Rose
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PostSubject: Re: Happy Birthday...   Thu Apr 10, 2014 11:54 am

Happy Birthday!  cheers 

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PostSubject: Re: Happy Birthday...   Thu Apr 10, 2014 12:21 pm

Happy Birthday! Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: Happy Birthday...   Thu Apr 10, 2014 12:50 pm

Happy Birthday cheers

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PostSubject: Re: Happy Birthday...   Thu Apr 10, 2014 4:37 pm

Happy Birthday!  cheers 
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Happy Birthday...

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