XWL.com Exclusive: Motorcity Diaries: Training for the Gauntlet.

Two men have laid out the grandest of all challenges for the biggest tag team extravaganza XWL has ever seen. But as they are now, they would lose, they haven’t tagged together in a while, they’re rusty and they know it. Today we will witness as The Motorcity Machine Guns prepare to defend the Ersatz Tag Team Championships by participating in a grueling training regimen. Will this be enough to see them walk out of X-treme X-mas as the champions?



The camera cuts to a gym where Shelley is spotting Sabin as he does some bench presses when a rather attractive female walks by distracting Shelley who steps away from his friends. Sabin’s arm begin to shake furiously as he strains to keep the bar from dropping onto his chest. Just when it looks like we’ll watch Sabin’s chest cavity get crushed live on a pre-recorded video, Shelley comes over and grabs the bar and helps Sabin rack the bar.

{Alex Shelley}
Come on, Chris, you can do better than that. Do you even lift?

{Chris Sabin}
Do you?

{Alex Shelley}
As a matter of fact, I once lifted the spirits of people in a sold-out arena when I defeated Kurt Angle.

{Chris Sabin}
Close enough, are we done here, I hate this place. I've had people try to sell me protein shakes, I don't even know what that is.

{Alex Shelley}
Wait, so you didn't know what it was but you bought it anyway? And you say I waste your money.

{Chris Sabin}
I never said I bought it, and yes, you do waste my money, but that's besides the point, we need to train for that gauntlet match in just a few days. I don't think this is the place to do it.

{Alex Shelley}
Hang on there, was that a bit of hostility I sensed in your voice, Chris? Are you still upset I saved over the new How I met Your Mother episode?

{Chris Sabin}
Of course not... wait, what? Tell me you're joking. Now I'll never know who the mother is, friendship over!

Sabin walks out of the shot, mumbling to himself. After a few moments, he walks back into the shot.

{Chris Sabin}
But seriously, let's get out of here, that chick is giving me looks, and by what I could tell, she could probably beat us both up if I say something wrong.
{Alex Shelley}
You have a point there, bud, I mean just look at her.



{Chris Sabin}
Do not want.

{Alex Shelley}
Neither do I, at least not when I'm sober. I don't know if you feel the same way, but it's time to get out of this place.



After a grueling workout at the gym the two men exit the gym, being sure to steer clear of that beastly looking woman, and step outside. They take in a few big gulps of fresh air, free of the stench of socks and sweat and free of the sounds of people updating their facebook status to say they’re at the gym. Sabin and Shelley hop up and down a bit and begin to loosen up their limbs with some dramatic stretches. The two men look at each other and then nod before suddenly taking off. The poor camera man struggles to keep up and The Guns weave in and out of the crowd as they make their way down streets, alleyways and a McDonald’s drive-thru only to be told that they wouldn’t be served.

The two men continue their journey until they come face to face with an intimidating set of stairs. Shelley and Sabin do their secret hand shake and then make their way up the stairs. For a while they’re even, but then suddenly Sabin trips and rolls back down to the bottom and the camera man who didn’t even bother following them up has to step to the side as Sabin lands next to him. Shelley calls down and asks if Sabin’s okay and Sabin tells his friend to on without him.

With so much to prove, Shelley ascends up the second half of stairs with sweat pouring down his face. He’s doing this for his friend, for himself and for everyone out there who ever wanted to dramatically run up a huge flight of stairs but never got a chance to. It’s a struggle and after a few breaks to catch his breath it looks like Shelley won’t make it, but with a leap over the final two stairs, Shelley stands triumphant with his hands in the air.

{Chris Sabin}
You climbed up the wrong set!

Shelley looks next to him to see an even bigger staircase at least twice the size of the one he just ran up, and he shakes his head and heads down the stairs until he gets to where Sabin is. Sabin appears to be okay despite the tumble down the stairs and when Shelley comes over, Sabin points across the street to a park. The two grown men race across the street and head over to the playground. Sabin heads over to the monkey bars and starts doing pull-ups and shouts ‘take that Evan Bourne’. Shelley is over at another section and he begins to play with a young child.



{Alex Shelley}
That’s three in a row, and that’s why I’M the master.

{Chris Sabin}
Help!

Shelley turns to find his friend in a heated battle…. With a squirrel! Shelley races over and asks what the hell is going on and Sabin begs him to help get the squirrel off him. Shelley pulls a bag of trail mix out of his pocket and throws some to the side and the squirrel races away to eat.

{Alex Shelley}
Do I even want to know how that happened?

{Chris Sabin}
All I got to say is that squirrels are sneaky bastards. It did put up a better fight than AJ Styles did at The Monster Bash preshow, so I'll give it that. Next time, that squirrel won't be so lucky.

Shelley places a hand on Sabin's shoulder and nods sympathetically and the two walk into the sunset now fully prepared to face the gauntlet.