XWL.com Exclusive: Motorcity Diaries: Some Special Announcements

We’re taken to a super-secret location in a super-secret place as the two members of The Motorcity Machine Guns smile for the camera. Chris Sabin and Alex Shelley have been receiving the highest of praises for their willingness to broadcast their antics for the entire world to see. Shelley wipes off some dust or dirt off his sweater and then he reaches over to pull the hood off of Sabin’s head but Sabin leans away and Shelley’s hand grabs nothing but air. Shelley reaches for the hood again and this time he grabs it only for Sabin to slap his hand away. The two men have a quick slap fight until the camera guy clears his throat rather loudly and two men realize that they’re being recorded.



Alex Shelley
Well hello there dudes and dudettes of the wrestling world, this is the man with no fair and amazing hair Alex Shelley sitting here with my best bud Chris, who was once almost sued over sole ownership of the name by Jericho, but it never went through. As you can see I’m wearing my brand new sweatshirt but Chris over here decided the be different. No worries though because we don’t need matching sweaters to deliver the great news we have for all of you today.



{Chris Sabin}
What I hold here in my hand is nothing more than the results from my test last week. This will prove whether or not I am truly injury prone, even though we both know I'm not. Nice sweatshirt by the way, Alex. This will prove all the naysayers and all the critics wrong. Without further ado, let us see the results.

Sabin opens up the paper and reads it for a few moments as Shelley looks at it as well. A smile comes across Sabin's face before looking up at the camera.

{Chris Sabin}
I told you so, I told you all that I'm not injury prone. It's right here in black and white and not written in crayon or anything like that. Isn't that right, Alex?



Alex Shelley
You’re right, Chris, as a matter of fact this document right here states that you’re the healthiest that you’ve ever been in your entire life. I’d say this would be a cause for celebration but I think we all remember what happened the last time we tried to gather supplies for a party. So I think this time instead of throwing some big shindig, we’ll keep it simple. Some videogames, some beer and pizza, and hey, maybe we’ll even play some tic-tac-toe. How does that sound buddy?

{Chris Sabin}
Sounds like one hell of a time, you're missing one thing though.

*Sabin pulls something out of his pocket*



{Chris Sabin}
Balloons! You can't have an awesome party without balloons.

Alex Shelley
You’re right, we’re also gonna need some music. Gee, I sure do hope The High Crusade is available to be booked.

*Sabin and Shelley jokingly stare at the camera before their expressions quickly turn serious.*



Alex Shelley
Don’t get us wrong, folks, we’re not just here in this room, that I’m not sure how we got in, to look handsome and play doctor. I’m sure you all remember our little escapade at Wal-Mart, where we went through a little trouble to get some toy XWL championships, little did we know that they were made for kids only and though I’m proud of my slender waistline, there was no chance of getting those around our waists. Give us an update on the belts, Chris.



{Chris Sabin}
Well, I know this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this chick, who has a brother that works for this guy, and that guy’s best friend makes championship belts for a living. So I gave him a call and told him what we wanted. He gave me a huge discount because he recognized me and told me he was a huge fan, what I didn't know is that he thought I was Alex, and I didn't want to break his fragile heart so I went along with it. After two weeks of waiting, they are finally here, I wanted to show you them earlier but I figured that I would have the official unveiling right here on the Motorcity Diaries.

Sabin pulls out a box that was next to him and places it in front of himself and Shelley.

{Chris Sabin}
Would you mind doing the honors?

Alex Shelley
As a matter of fact I don’t mind.

Instead of simply opening the box, Shelley kicks it repeatedly and then drops an elbow on it before wrestling around on the ground with the box out of view of the camera. The camera zooms in on Sabin who just shrugs and Shelley finally pops back onto the screen and wipes some sweat off his brow. He reaches into the box and tosses one of the belts Sabin's way then Shelley grabs one for himself and get back into his seat.



Alex Shelley
Ladies and Gentleman, we simply got tired of waiting, around for some competition to show up. We gave XWL chance after chance to build a division around us but they let it slip through their money hungry fingers. They said a tag division wasn’t worth the effort, they said it wouldn’t make them a profit. Well you know what? We’re not gonna take it anymore. As the only team in XWL we’re officially the best team and these belts prove exactly that. History has just been made, we’re no longer just The Motorcity Machine Guns, now we’re also The XWL Ersatz Tag Team Champions. And to prove that we’re legit we’ll be defending these bad boys at X-treme X-mas and it won’t be in any ordinary match.



{Chris Sabin}
We spent the last seven days thinking of a match that would be worthy of such an occasion, we thought about Ladder matches, Steel Cage matches, Tables matches, TLC matches, Last Man Standing Tag Team matches, but none were good enough. So we thought about it a bit more and what we came up with was perfect, why limit ourselves to a single match, why not prove we're the greatest team not only in this company but in the whole world? The Motor City Machine Guns are personally issuing an open challenge gauntlet match to any and every team that thinks they can defeat us.

Alex Shelley
And of course since tag teams are such a rare commodity in XWL nowadays, the Ersatz Tag Titles can be challenged for by ANY team in ANY Company in ANY country in ANY planet, as long as they can find their way to the arena, because we will not be paying for gas. So if you’re a team and you’re int…

Some music is heard and Shelley looks over at Sabin who pulls his phone out.

Alex Shelley
That was quick, who is that?

{Chris Sabin}
I don't recognize this number... hello?... maybe, who's asking... no, I don't know anybody that goes by the name Chris Sabin, you have the wrong number.

Sabin quickly hangs up the phone and puts it back into his pocket. Before he could speak, his phone rings again. He takes it back out and without giving it a second thought, he turns it off.

{Chris Sabin}
Kids these days, calling the wrong numbers. Continue with what you were saying, Alex.

Alex Shelley
Will do, bud. So as I was sa…

This time it’s Shelley’s phone who rings and he answers it after sharing a glance with Sabin.

Alex Shelley
Hell..

Shelley holds the phone away from his ears as some yelling is heard on the other end of the line though it’s hard to make out who it is.

Alex Shelley
Okay, I understand.

Shelley hangs up the phone then scratches his head before turning back to the camera.



Alex Shelley
That, was Team 3D who did not take kindly to Chris hanging up on them and saying they sound like kids. In any case, they have accepted the match and they will be one of three teams we’ll be facing at Xtreme X…

Shelley’s phone rings again.

Alex Shelley
How are these people getting my number?

Shelley answers the phone.

Alex Shelley
Hello? Yeah. You’ll be added to the list. Okay. Mhm. No, refreshments will not be served.

Shelley hangs up his phone and then throws it at the wall.

Alex Shelley
That was The World’s Greatest Tag Team and they’ll be team number two, and now I’ll now need a new cell phone. Chris, give me yours.

Sabin grabs his phone and extends his arm towards Shelley, before he can reach for it, the phone begins to ring.

{Chris Sabin}
Wait, how is it ringing, I thought I turned it off.

Alex Shelley
I hate to tell you this, but your phone may be haunted… and as you already know from past experience: I don’t answer haunted phones. This is all you.

Shelley scoots away from Sabin leaving him to deal with the phone.

Sabin looks at his phone, hesitating on answering it.

{Chris Sabin}
Guess it's now or never.

Sabin presses the talk button and raises the phone to his ear.

{Chris Sabin}
Hello?

The fear in Sabin's voice says it all, unsure if it is truly a ghost calling him or if he just failed to turn off his phone like he meant to.

{Chris Sabin}
You want in on the gauntlet? How do you even know about that, we just said it about five minutes ago and the video hasn't even gone up yet?

Sabin is shown nodding his head slightly for a few moments before looking straight at the camera, then at Shelley.

{Chris Sabin}
Alex, did you know this is being live streamed?

Frightened, Shelley slaps the camera out of the camera-man's hands and when it hits the floor the screen shatters indicating that the camera has broken and that we won’t be hearing from the Ersatz Tag Team Champions for a while.