#AskXWL Episode 2 feat. Brock Lesnar

#AskXWL - EPISODE TWO
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Welcome to #AskXWL where two of XWL.Com writers Austin and Tyler sit down with the men and women of XWL to ask them questions that were submitted to them by fans through Twitter. These questions can be serious. Some of them could potentially be funny. Some of them might just suck but we'll still flatter the fan by asking their question. This week's guest will be none other than the Beast Incarnate! Looking towards his submission match against AJ Styles as well as other rumors circling the social networks, there are tons of questions for the man of few pleasures such as: Eating, Sleeping, Conquering and then Repeating.

We present to you, Brock Lesnar!



[PAUL HEYMAN]
Ladies and Gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman and sitting to my right is the Beast Incarnate, and your future World Heavyweight Champion, Brock Lesnar. I would highly encourage everyone currently watching this video to appreciate the fact Brock Lesnar took the time out of his busy schedule to make an appearance on this here show and like the video while you're at it. Now Brock, before we begin, I would just like to apologize for what you're about to put yourself through because trust me when I say some of these questions aren't exactly all that interesting, nor are they that creative.



[PAUL HEYMAN]
Our first question comes in from one Michael Glover, and he asks the following;
"What type of food does a best incarnate eat in order to stay a beast?"



[BROCK LESNAR]
I'd tell Michael to take a look at what he's eating and think the opposite. Get out from behind that keyboard, eat some fresh cooked fish and vegetables, and hit the gym at least once a day and realize it's more than just what you eat. And while you're at it, I would highly recommend you get yourself a better taste in favorites while you're at it because Daniel Bryan won't get far as long as I'm around here. I'll eat him as a snack between shows. Stupid vegans.



[PAUL HEYMAN]
Our next question comes in from a person named Plus, and he asks the following;
"Brock, with several defeats now under your belt here, are you still a force to be taken seriously?"



[BROCK LESNAR]
I don't care if one or two losses has damaged my ability to be taken serious in the eyes of you individuals. I'm not here to impress all of you. I'm here to kick ass and make money because me? I'm an ass-kicker. I'm Brock Lesnar. I'm not someone who panders to all of you in hopes that you buy my merchandise or whatever. So go ahead and say you can't take me serious because I've lost a match or two. Do I care? No. Because regardless, sooner or later, I am going to be your World Heavyweight Champion and I am going to be the guy on the promotional posters and carrying this company on my back.



[PAUL HEYMAN]
Our next question comes in from an individual named Beardy, and he asks the following;
"Any plans for the Pack?"



[BROCK LESNAR]
I'm not the kinda guy who makes plans. It's as simple as this: You step in my way, I beat you down and pummel you until you can't even stand up without the help of others. I don't have a problem with them, or anyone else, until they decide to stand between me and what I want. If I had a plan, my plan would be to make sure they stay far, far away from me for their own sake. I will chew each and every one of them up and spit them out if they so chooses to confront a man like me.



[PAUL HEYMAN]
"Will Brock Lesnar ever go after gold here in XWL?"



[BROCK LESNAR]
Are you stupid? I've made it clear for weeks now that I am here to be the World Heavyweight Champion. Yes, I am going for gold. Yes, I am going to win gold. No, it doesn't matter who the current World Heavyweight Champion might be because I will beat and batter no matter who it is. And yes, you made yourself look more stupid than you already are for supporting someone like Adam Cole. Do you even watch the show or do you just read the spoilers online?



[PAUL HEYMAN]
Oh, this is an interesting one. "Rumor has it you're returning to the octagon at UFC 200, is this true?"



[BROCK LESNAR]
Yes, I am. Why? How about we let Paul answer this one.

[PAUL HEYMAN]
My client isn't doing this for any sort of self-gratification. My client isn't doing this to help the competition. My client is doing this for the fame and the money. The Brock Lesnar brand is already huge, and for him to be a contracted XWL Superstar who was given permission to fight in the octagon for one night will not only make him bigger than he already is, but it will prove that he is, without any doubts, the greatest athlete on this planet. But first, of course, he has to beat one AJ Styles which will certainly be a walk through the park.



[PAUL HEYMAN]
"Will you please eat Matt Sydal or something so we don't have to deal with him anymore?"



[BROCK LESNAR]
Let me tell you something, Zack. Do I look like the type of man who's into eating spoiled, expired meat? No. I'm not. I only eat the best, and freshest, of meat. I won't settle for anything less because that would make me look desperate if I lowered my standards for a rat like Matt Sydal. But if I had the chance to break him, I would. I would just to put a smile on my face knowing I broke a man who's supposedly accomplished so much around here. Now, Paul? Move onto the next question.



[PAUL HEYMAN]
Apparently this is highly requested because this next fan, Tyler, asks you "But no, really, will you please eat Matt Sydal?"



[BROCK LESNAR]
... Next question...



[PAUL HEYMAN]
Fellow superstar Sami Zayn asks "Hey Brock, heard you were facing AJ in a submission match? #HowsThatCalf?"



[BROCK LESNAR]
Sami... Who?

[PAUL HEYMAN]
Sami Zayn.

[BROCK LESNAR]
Never heard of him. Next question.



[PAUL HEYMAN]
"Why choose a submission match against AJ Styles?"

[BROCK LESNAR]
I want everyone to take a look at me, and then take a look at AJ Styles. I'm a BEAST. And what is he? He's dinner. He couldn't make me tap out even on his best day. I don't care about whatever Calf Killer submission maneuver he has in his arsenal because it won't be enough to make me tap. I'll break his arm, or even snap his own leg before that could ever happen.



[PAUL HEYMAN]
And would you look at that? Our last question comes in from AJ Styles himself! Wow! It's like that was planned. Brock, I want you to look at what he sent in for a second. Do you see it? Now, I know AJ Styles isn't the smartest of men, but I assumed he was smart enough to know how to format a question correctly. A question does not end with three periods. A question ends with a question mark. Having three periods is as if you're making a statement and making a statement is exactly what my client is going to do at Downpour when he steps into the ring with the Phenomenal One. My client is going to make AJ Styles wish he stayed at home with his wife and kids rather than choosing to step into the ring with my client, Brock Lesnar.

[BROCK LESNAR]
AJ Styles, boy, if I were you, I would wear anything but white this Sunday so know one knows you pissed yourself this Sunday because boy, if I were you'd, I'd be scared knowing I was going up against a freak of nature like myself.

Are you interested in being on the next edition of #AskXWL? Or maybe you're interested in asking one of our many of superstars a question? If any of those appeal to you, contact one of the two writers listed above over Skype! We will gladly have you, or the questions that you asked, on next week's show. Please, don't reply to this thread stating you want to be on the show. Save that for private messaging. Enjoy the thread and comment on it if you wish.

Next week we will take a break to prep for Downpour! However the following week we will feature:

Shinsuke Nakamura!