XWL Exclusive: Have Yourself a Pretty Little Christmas

The backtrack to a timeless glam-rock Christmas hit begins to play in the background, setting the mood as we are greeted by a voice that is so soothing it practically slices through the aforementioned beat like a blade to butter and grabs your attention without fail.

???
I've heard whispers from the offensively large man in last season's red suit that you've been some very good little uggos this year..

With that single line, it instantly becomes clear as day who the narrator is, but could it be true? Could it really be him?.. Surely enough time has passed that the XWL Universe would need a refresher course on the hottest lingo used strictly by the most sought-after talent from Paris to Milan. Luckily for you, that lesson begins now.

???
And, well.. It appears Christmas has come early for you.

Finally images begin to flash over the black screen, confirming your suspicions. Head shot after head shot, you are being gifted by the unblemished mug of a familiar face. You are now able to confirm that the perfect voice caressing your eardrums is none of than that of Prince Pretty himself, Tyler Breeze.



Tyler Breeze
It has come to my attention that XWL is being run by bunch of crusted-over neanderthals. So since it is the most GORGEOUS time of the year, and nothing makes me happier than giving to those who are much less objectively jaw-dropping than I am, I've come to the conclusion that there is only one thing left to do to clear my beautiful conscience..



Tyler Breeze
XWL Universe, keep your thirsty little eyeballs on me, because the King of Cuteville is about to deliver the ultimate Christmas donation when I re-inject the entire world of professional wrestling with my undeniable Beauty Shot, so that good looks and good will towards men may finally be restored.



Tyler Breeze
This Christmas season I've decided it's time that you poor and hideous souls have a true inspiration to admire and follow. You may be asking yourselves: "Why us, Tyler? We are not worthy of your irresistible, fashion-forward influence!.." And to that I say, somebody has to show you ugly ducklings the way of the fashion straight and narrow. Why, just look at the resources you have now! Chris Jericho? Old uggo, terrible taste in music.. Matt Sydal, the golden uggo? Not even a chance, anyone who's anyone knows that gold is so Christmas 2016.. Jeff Hardy? Tacky uggo clown, mesh is out.. Chris Sabin and Chad Gable? I guess the rumors must be true, two uggos are most certainly NOT better than one!.. And Johnny Gar-UGGO? Give me a break, the name speaks for itself..



Tyler Breeze
None of these terribly un-pretty people deserve to be adored by you. Again, "why" you ask? My my, aren't you an awfully curious bunch? You impressionable little things, you.. My answer to you is this: you can't spell role model, without MODEL.



Tyler Breeze
So keep your selfie sticks and your finest furs close at hand, my darlings. Prince Pretty is on his way, and Christmas 2018 will soon become... GORGEOUSSS.

The repeated head shots transition into a Christmas card with Tyler Breeze's flawless face printed across the front. The text: "SEASON'S GREETINGS" etches across the bottom right corner of the photograph right before your very eyes. You find yourself completely mesmerized and understandably envious. The image casually begins to fade to black while the music proceeds to play a few more notes before the clip finally reaches its end. What does this mean for the other XWL superstars? Prince Pretty never made a huge splash in the company during his brief stint in the past, but could the second coming of the Definition of Delish be the charm? Only time will tell, and if Breeze's Christmas promises are true, that time may be sooner than we expect..