XWL: Why can't we be friends?

In a place like XWL, filled with ranging personalities, and...sometimes, raging ones...it's easy to sometimes have a little bit of occasional "drama." People get ahead of themselves, lose their temper, say things they know they shouldn't say. None of us are an exception to it, and it does happen...it's fine that it does, I mean not really but everyone's had those moments so it's kind of normal without actually needing to be normal?


But sometimes it can just escalate into something that is toxic to this environment. Bringing up a recent scenario when Dashing had a less than enjoyable match with a new member, he had come to me to tell me I said I was sorry had had to go through that and I immediately messaged the guy to get his side as well as inform him that what he did was wrong and he needed to read the rules. A simple fix, yes? But, it's not so simple when Dashing makes a rather uncalled for post stating that it was the worst match he's ever had, the issue had already been settled. So was that really needed? Did you really need to see a new guy, a person that had not yet had a chance to really get his feet wet in XWL, get put on blast like that? The answer you're looking for is no, no you did not.


It was because of such a post that admin Dalton (Nitro) decided to respond with "Completely uncalled for." To which Dashing replied "What was uncalled for is the way that he played. But you know, gg. "


Because a member put someone on blast and didn't seem to see what was wrong about it, Dalton made an equally as wrong decision on putting him on blast for the fact he had left his rival in the dark in regards to their promo that week. Very childish to take shots at someone, yeah? But you know the old saying don't fight fire with fire? It was talking about this, and it couldn't define it any better. Both posts were wrong, and nobody should be put on blast for such things as that when those are matters best kept private. But because there was no "rule" in effect to show people this was wrong even though it should be obvious you shouldn't do these things...it didn't end there.


Because Dalton had given Dashing a dose of his own medicine so to speak, Dashing made a remark that basically said he wasn't a good admin for doing so. This brings up how there shouldn't be a double standard on things, right? Admins shouldn't get special treatment, and at the same time...neither should members. They shouldn't get to say what they want while we have to be adults about because we should all be adults about it, this is for fun chill out, right?


The rest can be read in last week's Breakdown thread, and has been read by many already which is why I've used it as an example for this post. We all know how to act as adults, how to carry ourselves and be respectful to others, so while the occasional remark is expected...it shouldn't go any further than that, and recently it has.


Last year we implemented a policy that dealt with arguing and warning people to stop, but you know....why wait until then? Why wait until an argument has already broken out to solve it then? Which is why that policy is being amended to better suit issues that might go a bit too far.


When someone says something that is out of line, such as bringing up issues that have already been taken care of or are insulting someone...an admin will warn that member and all involved even if it's another admin...to stop that behavior immediately and drop it. Now if they do, nothing will be done as they will know they were wrong to behave that way, and that will be enough to hopefully deter the already rare behavior like that.

But if they don't, all people that continue will be banned from the site for twenty four hours, and issued a strike against them. This strike will play heavily in scenarios that see them continue this behavior in the future. For if it happens again, the same thing will happen, they will be told to stop, if they don't...they will then be banned for a week and issued a second strike. If they still for some reason cannot understand how they've acted is wrong, and they do it again....they again, will be issued a notice to stop, and if they don't...they get their third strike and are banned for a month.


But not only are they banned for a month, they will be stripped of every single one of their characters and have to start from scratch should they come back a month later.  


Does that sound harsh? Stupid even? Well that's because it is, but if someone finds themselves on a third strike, continually causing problems, isn't that stupid too? That's not someone we want around until they can learn how to act around others. Nobody is saying you can't have fun, make jokes, any of that. This is for people that can't seem to understand when to stop, and it's a way to force them to. Think about last year's policy, for those of you who were here, you know that only one person ever violated that. Everyone else took it as the warning it was, and knew no nonsense like bickering would go unpunished anymore.

So the odds of anyone actually getting any of these punishments are rare, but they are here in case someone does so that they do not ruin your experience or mine. This is a place for fun matches, awesome feuds, silly threads every now and then, a community for anything...so it's understandable that we want to keep the drama at a very low level, which is how it usually is. But because of recent events including members and admins, this nips that right in the bud. Admins can be warned by other admins, I can be warned...and you as members can be warned. So have fun, but be respectful to others. And on the off chance you say something out of line, if you stop there, that's enough for us. So thank you for reading this, I hope the way I've explained this has given you insight as to why we've done this, and if you have any questions please ask away.

Some people can't be friends because nearly every person in this fucking place likes to blow every little thing out of proportion and instead of leaving it as it is they make a huge drama out of it. Whether it be by miscommunication, someone being bitter about a match, tryharding or whatever the reason, instead of the matter being resolved there and then it gets dragged out, other people get told about 100 different versions of the story of what happened and then these people that have no idea jump in on the arguement and give their two cents on who is in the wrong when they have no idea.

Good example would be the situation surrounding Bullet Club and Oreo, I said something that got misread, I'm offline for a couple of days next thing I know I am branded "Jealous", Bang is "Jealous" because he's not a challenger and the entire admin team was apparently against us for something we apparently did and how we kicked Oreo out. People argued for a couple of days about this, I come online and it gets sorted there and then, issue cleared up and resolved but nobody else wants to do that. If someone has a shit match tell them, explain it to them and then you might get a reason, there might be lag on their end for all you know and if they deny it then bring it up with the admins. That's what should happen but I guarentee the first thing someone does after suffering a shit match is come online and bitch about it to someone that wasn't involved, didn't see it and then he will go and bitch about it to someone else. While people think it's the best solution honestly it's not, admins are a good thing but if your first instinct is to tell them without hearing the other persons side of the story then all you're doing is bringing in five people into an arguement that have no idea what happened. They're just a go between for your arguement now with the "He said this, he said that" bullshit.

I have been stuck in these stupid situations far too many times to think that they won't happen, to think that everyone on here is going to get on 100% of the time is just idiotic. There will always be drama, has been since day one and that trend will continue. While I found it highly hypocritical of Dashing to put what he did in his write up, I don't think adding stuff like that is a bad thing. No disrespect intended but you see guys like Gaz and Zack chewing him out for what he put yet when I did my promo about David everyone ate it up, they loved it, most people enjoyed it and said it was one of my best promos. While it may be counter-logic, sometimes it is just better to let people get these things out there, I got a lot of things of my chest, David saw some of the issues that I raised and yes it did create a lot of drama and tension but you cannot deny that this place improved drastically. I find it the best way to use something negative, I know people hate that I did it but it brought up the issues and people responded, often telling me to shove it, often ignoring it but some brought up my issues which I could then learn from. Both peoples flaws are then highlighted, they can do what they will with that and then both people feel better for saying whatever it was.

To say you're going to jump in the second there is a sense of drama is just stupid in my opinion, instead of everyone jumping in on something they are not involved in let them resolve the issues themselves. If they bring the arguement to the site warn them and delete their posts,if it continues ban them from the site for however many hours. Simple right? The more people jump in the more the drama escalates, if people bitch and moan on skype let them at the end of the day you can't really stop them. If I was pissed off why would Dalton telling me on Skype to drop it truly make a difference? It doesn't resolve the issue, either I'll just sit there and supress it and making it worse or I'll just carry on being pissed off regardless of being told to drop it. Let them resolve their issue, make people stay out of the arguement and if it leaks onto the site then get involved.

That's just my view on the situation, whether people think I am wrong or not is their opinion but personally I'm not for the Nazi Admin approach. I think sometimes people forget that this for fun and take things way too seriously, like they have something to actually gain or lose or think they have some legit power when it's just guys playing a video game online and pretending to be someone they're actually not. Trust me, I'm not going to go running around my town centre telling everyone that I held the Intercontinental Championship for 14 months because it's not truly that big of a deal but I would tell a friend or two because I had fun while doing it and maybe they could perhaps join and have fun. Key word being fun. When people remember that and stop taking this place so seriously, that's when we can all be friends, good luck trying to drill that into peoples heads and forcing them to stop taking things seriously.

Done.